TMQ Nation fires back
Cold President = Victory.
TMQ declared himself unmotivated to listen to motivational speakers. Sharai Pollock of River Falls, Wisc., reports, "My colleagues and I were motivated by this article, in which a researcher claims that swearing at work improves performance. Lots cheaper than hiring a speaker!" Wait: If swearing improves workplace performance, then Bristol, Conn., is the most productive city in America.
Did Brandi ripping off her shirt lead to more women attending college?
TMQ said it believed it was possible the ancients made incredible journeys, such as by canoe from Polynesia to Hawaii or by foot from Asia to North America, but wondered why they tried. David Sally of Dartmouth College supposes, "The mystery is somewhat solved if we assume that these people were not voluntary adventurers but rather outcasts. Three categories seem likely: felons and criminals expelled for offenses by societies that did not practice the (immediate) death penalty; human offerings cast upon the waters to appease and sate various aqueous deities; lovers deported for disregarding the marriages arranged by their parents or tribal leaders. Certainly, the second and third categories could explain the society's kindness in giving the exiles a nice boat, some provisions and some kind of fighting chance. All three categories together would result in the gender balance necessary for reproduction and colony creation, since the first would tend to be male, the second female and the third would presumably be composed of a majority of traditional couples. So the essences of the New World are crime, sacrifice and love!"
Alexander Chester of Cambridge, Mass., writes, "I have just started Harvard Law School, and I want you to write shorter columns so that I have time to do my school reading." Well, looks like you will have to establish your priorities -- law school or TMQ? Actually, I would be willing to write less, but only if ESPN paid me more. I am like a soybean farmer in that regard.
TMQ denounced the media for adulating lottery winners without mentioning how much is lost by those who play. Martin Richardson of Canberra, Australia, writes, "I have always wanted to see in the headlines, not LOCAL MAN WINS $5 MILLION, but A MILLION LOCAL MEN LOSE $10 EACH." David Bingham of Derby, United Kingdom, reports that a rival fantasy football Web site he attempted to use listed Tom Brady as owned by 105 percent of teams. Bill Belichick is behind this somehow! He haikuizes:
Bill clones star QB.
How long until defense is
Marc Mayntz of Provo, Utah, offers a nominee for high school bad-sport of the year: "Earlier this year, the head coach at Timpview High School was suspended for one game by the Utah state athletic association because he allegedly recruited players from outside the school's boundaries. The coach at Provo High School was the one primarily responsible for bringing evidence to light to show the violations. Recently, Timpview, a perennial power, played Provo, which is, well, usually 'rebuilding.' By the half, Timpview led 42 -0; nevertheless, the Timpview coach kept his starters in until it was 56-0. Timpview's other scores in their region have been: 49-0, 49-17, 54-0, 49-7 and 51-7. This is sportsmanship?" Maybe Utah needs the Department of Defense mercy rule. Dallas Powell, an Army major serving at Camp Arifjan, Kuwait, reports Pentagon-affiliate high schools in Europe not only use the NFHS-recommended running clock whenever a 35-point lead is achieved, but also limit the final score to a 39-point margin: "So a team can run up the score all it wants, but the official score will be recorded as only 39 points ahead. See this article." Daniel Harding of Chester, Mass., reports that goal differential is the first tiebreaker in FIFA soccer, resulting in a huge incentive to run up the score, such as in the September match that ended Germany 11, Argentina 0.
On Beli-Cheat, Dave Decker in Houston asks a question posed by many readers: Why hasn't a single one of the other 31 NFL owners [actually, 30, plus the shareholders of the Packers] said a thing about the league's mysterious late-night destruction of the Belichick files? Could it be, he wonders, that in the files there was evidence of teams other than the Patriots cheating -- maybe many other teams -- so the rest of the clubs decided to lie low, hoping the press would forget about this? If so, it does seem to be working.
Pudgy, oafish Homer has a slender, charming wife -- the standard Hollywood fantasy.
None of this show's writers were cool kids in high school.
Ban them! Melt them into an enormous lump and throw the lump into the Marianas Trench!
TMQ asserted that by the strangest and most amazing coincidence, yogic flying cannot be captured on film. Many readers, including Bob Brigante of San Bernardino, Calif., countered by sending this YouTube clip, in which yogis "fly," although it sure looks like hopping to me. Love the scientific white lab coat of the narrator.
And finally, for anyone depressed by the bad karma the Patriots have brought to the NFL, Sharon Bower of Charlottesville, Va., suggests the hilarious clip of the 15-lateral play that enabled Division III Trinity of Texas to defeat Millsaps on the final snap. It's hard enough to count the laterals; just try counting the missed tackles! Don't watch the ball, watch the Millsaps players -- many are just standing around doing nothing, even when in position for the tackle that would have ended the contest.
In addition to writing Tuesday Morning Quarterback, Gregg Easterbrook is the author of "The Progress Paradox: How Life Gets Better While People Feel Worse" and other books. He also is a contributing editor for The New Republic, The Atlantic Monthly and The Washington Monthly.