By Dan Shanoff
Page 2

Is there a bigger one-week slice of American zeitgeist than the Super Bowl? We don't think so. So as you prepare for your Super Bowl (or Super Bowl ads) party, be sure to check out the list of what's "in" and what's "out" in Jacksonville this week.

That way, you can be sure to impress the other partygoers, not to mention the usual battery of people you impress with the Hot/Not List: co-workers, drinking pals and the hot date you lied about to your co-workers and drinking pals.

Want a quick summary? Anything T.O. is hot; but teammate Freddie Mitchell? FredEx is totally played out, as you'll see. Read on:

Category Hot Not Hot
Blond celebs to be seen with
Bush twins

Beer-ad "Twins"
Storyline T.O.'s status Anything else
Trash-talk subject "Distractions" "Disrespect"
Freddie Mitchell Desperate to be a star Actually a star
Halftime entertainment
Wholesome McCartney

Wardrobe Malfunctions
Eagerly anticipated ad subject Deodorant gets you hotties Erectile dysfunction gets you hotties
Verboten ad Bud Light Janet parody Mickey Rooney's butt
Ride around town Cruise ships Caddies
Next season's trend Import a Brady-type QB Import a TO-type WR
Pats players' ideology Every SB is special "Dynasty" talk
Pats fans' ideology We're disrespected! We're disrespected!
Eagles players' ideology Footloose and fancy-free Distracted by TO, SB hype
Eagles fans' ideology We're disrespected! We're disrespected!
Feel-good story Eagles TE Jeff Thomason Freddie Mitchell
Gambling storyline T.O. impact The spread
Anthem singer we'd like to see
Alicia Keys

Ashlee Simpson
Style to emulate Belichick's calm Reid's gruff
Rising star Lito Sheppard Freddie Mitchell
Party Anything by men's mags Anything by Pats fans
TV-ad theme Anything but nudity Shock value
High expectations B. Westbrook/C. Dillon Freddie Mitchell
Superlative (if Pats win) Best. Team. Ever. Biggest. Karma. Boomerang.
Superlative (if Eagles win) Biggest. Upset. Ever. Pats. Best. Ever.
Conventional wisdom -- Tom Brady
Better than Montana?

Better than Manning?
Conventional wisdom -- Donovan McNabb
Next John Elway

Next "Black QB in Super Bowl"
SB Music Entertainment Eclectic E-crunk-tic
Best TEAM ever
'04 Pats?

Anyone else
Bold prediction Eagles win by a little Patriots win by a lot
MVP prediction One of the two QBs Freddie Mitchell

Dan Shanoff is a columnist for Page 2. His "Daily Quickie" commentary appears every weekday morning.