The reader additions to our rules for college football fandom
Well, we asked for them, and you came through. We wanted to increase our list of 57 rules for college football fans -- and after wading through more than 1,000 reader submissions, we plucked the best of the best to round out the list to 100. Here are the Page 2 readers' additions:
I. ALLEGIANCES, OR WHO YA GOT?
58. If you attend graduate school, you are allowed to root for that school. However, if your undergraduate school ever plays your graduate school, you must always root for your undergraduate school. (SeraphoenixRising)
59. You may not root for different teams in football and basketball. (BigTenSuckSECRules)
59a. Not even if they are both in Kansas.
60. You are never allowed to cheer for a former player of a rival school, not even if they transfer/get drafted by your favorite team. Instead, praise others on the field, i.e. "What a block by the left tackle to clear a path for [insert rival running back]." (jdanney)
61. Never scalp tickets to anybody that is wearing gear of your rival. (BRIANSUX)
61a. Unless you are in a position to utterly rip them off.
62. You are allowed to root for another school while your team is on probation. (STU_UNGAR1975)
62a. Except in the SEC. This would be way too confusing.
63. If your family is split between Florida and Florida State alums, it is acceptable to ruin Thanksgiving dinner with violent acts against your siblings, no matter how much it makes your mother cry. (p_masiak)
64. If a team from your conference makes the BCS title game and is a sworn rival, you cannot root for that team. Not now. Not ever. (proxl)
64a. Unless your team is from a mid-major conference.
65. If Notre Dame takes a bowl bid that your school deserved, the statute of limitations on complaining about it is three years. (jaythescrub)
65a. Unless it's a BCS bowl, in which case you are then expected to gloat over the thrashing that will inevitably be handed to ND and are free to root for the opponent, whoever it may be, in said thrashing.
66. Just because you are Catholic does not mean you should root for Notre Dame. God hates it when wars are carried out in his name, how do you think he feels about having bowl losses carried out in his name? (Jim Wiggin)
67. There are no legitimate Rutgers fans outside of New Jersey, unless they grew up in New Jersey and have since moved. (theroc5156)
67a. Exception: Tony Soprano
68. If you are the mother of two sons, each of whom plays for a different rival team, the split jersey is mandatory. (dan234)
68a. Fathers are free to choose favorites.
69. All fans are allowed to root for one service academy, but you must pick one. (terpman19)
69a. If you pick Air Force, you must call them the Zoomies.
II. ATTIRE, OR WHAT TO WEAR
70. For women, large purses are actually acceptable when used to conceal nips in the stadium. (Bobby5218)
71.If you are a true female fan then you can't wear those pink team T-shirts or jerseys. You also can't wear other color variations of your school colors, like Maize and Powder Blue, just because it brings out your eyes. (tikanique)
72. When using an acronym stadium sign to get on TV you must use only the first letters of the acronym. Correct example: "ABC" Another Buckeye Championship. Incorrect example: "ESPN" sEc Student-athletes are suPer iNtelligent. (ccorb4)
73. No shirts on dogs. (abuller103)
74. Under no circumstances may you taunt or mock children wearing rival colors. (cathoma09)
74a. Taunt the guy who is holding the kid's hand.
III. LIFESTYLE, OR WHY DID I EVER THINK GRADUATION WAS A GOOD IDEA?
75. You must crotch at least a 750ml bottle of liquor (preferably whiskey/bourbon) into the stadium at least once in your college career. (asnigro)
76. Proper tailgating begins the Thursday before a Saturday game. (mattp868)
76a. You cannot count Thursday and Friday night as tailgating for a Saturday game if you sleep/pass out before the game at any time. (jcgary)
77. Pick up your trash after tailgating. Nothing is worse than destroying the beautiful campus where you spent five of the best years of your life. (dawgjammin151)
78. If you are drinking a microbrew in the parking lot, you better have a damn good reason for it. For instance: They're all out of Pabst. (tball102)79. You must be buzzed by the time Chris Fowler, Lee Corso and Kirk Herbstreit go on air at your campus. (RyLn125)
80. At a tailgate, it is acceptable to barbecue chicken and refer to it as any opposing bird mascot, i.e. Hawk, Gamecock, etc., or Horned Frog (tastes like chicken). (CousinEddyBoy)
80a. You may never prepare any food item with wine.
80b. You may never cook anything that requires any dairy product other than cheese.
80c. You may never prepare any food with a French name.
80d. When preparing a kabob, fruit is not allowed. Except in Hawaii.
80e. Reheating anything that your wife/girlfriend prepared at home, even if she's at the game, is unacceptable. Except biscuits.
81. You may stand throughout the entire football game, no matter how old or young the person is behind you. (mjfrisch)
81a. If you are sitting in your school's student section -- no matter if you are an alum or a visitor who is just lucky enough to secure a ticket in the student section -- you may not sit down. Ever. Unless you are mixing a drink. (AbsolutVol)
81b. No matter what section you are in, you may not complain when someone is standing up in front of you unless you are physically unable to stand. This doesn't mean intoxicated. (ufnixzo)
82. If you don't have a raging hangover by the fourth quarter, you didn't pregame hard enough. (ttubigmike)
83. You shall not consume any food or drink sold inside the stadium. Instead use all means necessary to smuggle in as much contraband as possible. (trevor313131)
83a. Unless the nachos are worth it.
84. Refer to all bowl games by their old, pre-corporate sponsor names. It's not the Capital One Bowl, it's the Citrus Bowl. Capital One isn't paying you anything. If the bowl game did not have a pre-corporate sponsor name, it's not really a bowl. (tomdaddydollars)
85. If another team wins a game, giving your team a shot at or an actual conference or national title, you may clap along without irony when your band plays that team's fight song. (Danonwis)
85a. If it is a fellow conference team, you must still think the "dirty" lyrics.
86. If your team has a famous chant or "battle cry" it must be expressed with "GameDay" vigor at your wedding reception. WOOOO PIG SOOIE!!! (xea76)
87.You may not plan your wedding on a day featuring college football. Even if your team is not playing, after all, someone else's may be. (gobigblue2009)
88. If you have a kid the year your school wins the national title, you must name them after the coach or a star player. (Kperry316)
88a. Even if it's a girl.
89. If you settle down in a rival's home state, you are encouraged to display a license plate or bumper sticker supporting your team, if only to upset the locals. (nikongator)
IV. GLOATING, OR WHY ANYONE BOTHERS TO BE A FAN IN THE FIRST PLACE
90. You are not allowed to extend your index finger to say that your team is number one unless: (a) they are currently ranked No. 1 in any poll, or (b) they just won the national title. (Schoonerrider)
92. You are not allowed to rush the field after a win unless you: (a) beat a top-5 team in the nation when your team is not ranked; (b) are Duke; (c) win on the last play of the game via a Hail Mary or "band on the field" type play; (d) have enough fans to rush the field after a road victory (aro17_9)
93. If your team pulls off a victory worthy of storming the field, it is mandatory for all in attendance between the ages of 12 and 25. (Frank_the_Tank444)
94. If your team loses at home to a Division I-AA team, you can privately smile as the radio announcers scream like lunatics but only privately and only once. (webb_04)
95. Any conference called "The Big Ten" that in fact has 11 teams must man up and kick one out. (htighe811)
95a. Any Big Ten team who loses to a Division I-AA team is the candidate to be kicked out.
V. TAUNTING, OR THE ONLY THING BETTER THAN GLOATING
96. "Who do we hate?" taunts shall only be directly toward state schools, i.e.: "Who do we hate? Boise State!" (evanchurch)
97. You cannot, under any circumstances, attempt to castrate a fan of a rival school (even if you are a church deacon). (lgrothues)
98. If your season tickets are within earshot of the opponent's sideline area, you must know the opposing players' arrest records, academic shortcomings, paternity status, childhood nicknames, personal tragedies, and girlfriends', wives' and/or baby mommas' names for thoroughly informed and incisive heckling. (rjacksonpope)
99. If a hot coed from a rival school makes the cover of Playboy, that rival is exempt from all gloating and taunting for one year. (tball102)
100. Unless you matriculated and graduated from Stanford, Cal Tech, MIT or an Ivy League school, you may not use your alma mater's scholastic excellence as a valid excuse for crappy football. (That means you, Michigan, Notre Dame and Cal.) (winstoncounty)