The one that comes closest is "Old School," which some people absolutely loved and others found wildly disappointing. I thought it was hysterical for about 25 minutes, then it fell apart at the seams once they introduced the beyond-sappy love story with Luke Wilson. Other than that, I can't think of a movie that could even start the old "wait, how could you forget so-and-so!" argument. Anyway, I'm strangely disturbed by the Re-watchability Drought. I'm tired of four of the aforementioned Big Five from 1996-2000, and at some point, I'm going to get tired of "Boogie Nights." I know it's going to happen. I can only keep rocking and rolling for so long. And then what happens to me?

Q: With the Michael Jackson trial over, my office has started a pool over who the next big celebrity trial will center around. We're allowed three picks. Who would you go with, and why? Also, who would you pick as a dark horse candidate (someone you would never in a million years expect to see in court, like Martha Stewart)?
–Steve Reynolds, Weymouth, Mass.

SG: My three choices are pretty easy – Billy Joel, 50 Cent and Russell Crowe, with Lindsay Lohan, Tara Reid and Kirstie Alley as potential dark horses. We haven't had a major celebrity trial involving a female yet. It's time. But here are my five super-dark horses:

1. Mike Piazza
Buster Olney pointed it out last week – have you seen any of Piazza's sullen at-bats for the Mets this season? It looks like he's about three weeks from randomly pulling a Juan Marichal on somebody. What's going on? The guy had a great career! He's headed to the Hall of Fame! He married a Playboy Playmate! What am I missing?

2. NBA union head Billy Hunter
He's been messing with David Stern for way too long. I just have a feeling he's going to be framed like the senator in "Godfather 2" soon. What have I done? What have I done????

3. Tom Cruise
He's gone completely insane. I'm prepared for anything – Cruise turning Katie Holmes into the next Patty Hearst, committing a string of pharmacy robberies, trying to acquire nuclear weapons, running amok on the red carpet of "War of the Worlds" with an M-80, you name it. Or, nothing could happen. But it's safe to say that the ceiling has officially been removed for Tom Cruise.

4. Kiefer Sutherland
He's been playing Jack Bauer for too long – you can almost picture him sitting by himself in a Denny's at 3 a.m., screaming things at the waitress like, "Find me a breakfast menu now!" and "Where's the maple syrup? I'm only going to ask you one more time. Where's the maple syrup?!"

5. Andrew Bogut
For killing the Bucks franchise when they draft him first overall.

But seriously, did you read Chad Ford's article this week about the NBA combine scores? Bogut finished 66th out of 70 prospects. Sixty-sixth! Chad rated Bogut the No. 1 loser from the process, adding: "While his vertical leap is actually above average for a guy his size, his lateral quickness and sprinting speed were just awful. That will hurt him defensively." Note to everyone in Milwaukee: There's still time. You can prevent this. Start calling the Bucks' front office and tell them to draft Chris Paul.

Continued...

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