By The Intern
Page 2 (1/21) -- No wonder it took him so long to answer! Turns out Donald Trump gave Brian the tipsy guy the Kay Adams treatment when he asked Trump about paying off the Good Samaritan's mortgage. Or would it have been the reverse Kay Adams treatment because Michael denied killing Carlo, even though he did? Either way, the point is, stick to lying about your wildly successful bankrupt casinos, you rat fink.

LA Times (1/22) -- Troubled times in California. Today's issue: can women go topless in public? Amazingly, this has nothing to do with Tara Reid OR the filming of "EuroTrip Deux."

The Register-Guard (1/22) -- The Qyntel Woods pit bull saga ended with a whimper, save for one thing: "They also put Hollywood and another pit bull, Sugar, in protective custody. The whereabouts of Woods' other four pit bulls are unknown." I don't ask for much, but I think they deserve 15 words apiece in a future Sports Illustrated "Where Are They Now?" issue. "Abraham, 42 (in dog years), spends his days eating watermelon rinds and digging up mulch."

NY Times (1/21), login -- From the "Jackie Manuel Has A Posse" Department, apparently Donovan McNabb's mom has an agent. This is a feel-good story, unless you're the old mom. Like the old Vivian Banks, she can't be feeling too good. Also, check out the unrelated factoid at the end. It's like finding a drawer full of old high school pictures, then finding a severed foot.

Replica Wrestling -- For Philly fans with a little extra cash (even if in two weeks, they'll all be Intercontinental). Maybe the whole belt thing explains the old Quote of the Day by Nuggets owner Stan Kroenke. "Last season, we thought we could beat you. This season, we're going to strap it on." I'd really like to believe that.

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