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Page 2 -- Gerald Green shows a trace of athleticism. Remember, this guy somehow fell to number eighteen in the draft. To be fair though, I don't see any scenario where the Clippers could have justified passing up on Yaroslav Korolev at twelve. -- Quite simply, the greatest video of all-time (fresh out on bail James Brown, if you're wondering). I'm guessing he was on a sugar rush. -- We might have just moved one step closer to making Simmons' pickup-game MVP test a reality. Love the MVP's "old man long-sleeve shirt" style. (Jack S.) -- Okay, I'm going to be honest -- I caught some of "Dancing with Stars." Not my proudest moment. But if you even glimpsed the magnificence that was J. Peterman on the dance floor, then you understand why his conspiracy theory claim is so perfect. Also, his line about the exposure helping his image ("Rather than being Peterman, I'm John O'Hurley all the sudden") is hilarious. He was literally a caricature of Peterman out there, which I still can't believe is possible. (Winn C.) -- Three things here: some well-deserved hype for Nate Robinson, who the Suns should have held onto for dear life; an unprovoked dig at Isiah, which is always funny; and some sympathy points at the end -- I feel your pain Knicks fans. -- We've already come this far ...

Tom Cruise takes his unique brand of crazy Down Under. I suggest skipping to right around the 8:40 mark, when Cruise starts icily responding to normal questions about Nicole Kidman, culminating with him telling the interviewer to "put your manners back in." Tom Cruise, ladies and gentlemen -- parent to the world.

As a friend of mine said last night, "Bringing up the Tupac vs. Biggie debate is like giving your stance on abortion." So after polarizing most of my reader base, I'll keep things simple for today. -- Las Vegas moves a step closer to hosting the 2007 NBA All-Star Game. Players threaten lockout over Salt Lake City snub. -- It was funny when Mike Piazza called a press conference to publicly announce that he likes girls. It was hilarious when my main man Mike Vick quelled similar rumors by stating, "Everybody who knows me knows how I get down." But Rob Thomas's response to reports that he seduced Tom Cruise? A new bar has been set. -- Rumor has it that Manny Ramirez may be listening to mp3's (read first question) while showcasing his gold glove outfield talents. Lost in the music, I picture Manny doing the Shakira booty-shake while a line drive zooms over his head. (Michael C. from Atlanta) -- So there's a simmering "Simpsons" vs. "Family Guy" blood-feud developing. Don't you picture the "South Park" guys lurking in the background, the proverbial poker cheats no one will challenge because they're unquestionably the fastest draw in town?

"So you want to dance, pretty boy? Here, hold this jacket while we go write an episode involving your immediate family, barnyard animals, and unspeakable actions."



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