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In regard to the homepage of Casey from "Laguna Beach," many of you informed me of her alleged acting tutelage under the immortal Chuck Norris. You even cited specific evidence of this (something about clicking on "Contact," then "Statistics," then downloading her resume). I see why this could be confusing. However, not only did this never happen, but I have already filed a lawsuit for defamation of Chuck's character. Let us never speak of this again.

Jorge Sosa pitches a Game 3 gem tomorrow night. I'm on record. (Eric in Boulder, CO) -- Until a few years ago, Gary Busey was just the guy I confused with Nick Nolte when I was younger. But thanks to public recognition of his complete insanity, his name is everywhere nowadays. Which begs the question -- wouldn't it have been a genius career move if a completely sane Gary decided to extend his relevance by pretending to be a raving lunatic? And for anyone that says nobody is THIS good of an actor, I've got two words for you: Mr. Joshua. (Matthew D.) -- Chip: "It appears that we're going to do battle, Steven." Steven: "Is this a normal part of the show?" Chip: "No, but I gave all the knights free cable. They thought it would be cool if we went at it for a while." -- In a heroic move, Matt Bonner refuses to buy a car for fear of selling out. Any man of ridiculous stances such as this is all right by me. Today I extend the proverbial olive branch to one Matthew Robert Bonner, a man I once loathed. (Tim W. in Iowa City) -- Whether staged or not, this is hilarious. Watch an old lady regulate on an impatient driver in a Mercedes. (JK in Manasquan, NJ) -- Recap of Brian Billick on the 70's game show, Match Game PM. Although no one actually showed up, Billick staged a press conference afterwards to explain that he was simply too smart for host Gene Rayburn. That and to show off his sweet jacket one more time.

THURSDAY (Tim S.) -- I spend most Friday nights in the company of others, doing the usual things someone in their mid-20's does. Not this week, though. On Friday, October 7th, 2005, my apartment becomes a solitary sanctuary devoted to the most awesome action hero the world has ever known. There will be no visitors; no phone calls; no distractions. It will be just me, my Chuck Norris authentic martial arts robe, a homemade yellow belt, and four televisions set on A&E. This will undoubtedly be the greatest night of my life. -- Prison guard softball ringer gets busted, thrown in jail. Disheartened Rafael Palmeiro returns to the drawing board. -- Here's the plot summary: Melvin Ely gets robbed. Melvin goes to pawn shop and recovers stolen jewelry. Enter Melvin's robber. Robber sees Melvin, comes to screeching halt, makes like the Road Runner. Melvin refuses to give up strip clubs. Seriously. -- The NFL has pulled advertising of the upcoming sports betting movie, "Two for the Money," either because of the league's anti-gambling stance or repulsion over Al Pacino's left nipple.



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