Single page view By The Intern
Page 2 (Mike C. in L.A.) -- Support for Simmons' "Godfather" analogy between Weis and Carroll. Weis has the look of a man suddenly realizing that Carl Everett just outdebated him. -- Julius Hodge denies assault charges, gives his best Mr. Robinson smile. -- The world's first finishing school for men. David Stern ought to take a serious look at this. It would be infinitely more amusing than the new dress code, and equally (in)effective. (Ed S. in Scarsdale, NY) -- The new "Blitz" seems to take the stance that if you're going in a shady direction, might as well just go all-in. Also, if you needed further proof that Lawrence Taylor gets "LT" all to himself, just look at that earring one more time. No one could ever pull that off like he does. (Paul G.) -- Although it's fantastic, my first impulse was to draw the line at this picture. But then I decided that line-drawing is for cowards. And so I give you ... The Swayze on horseback. -- One site's listing of the Top 10 Sitcoms of the 90's. And since you asked, here is the correct listing for the Top 5:

5. Married ... With Children
4. Friends (before Chandler was emasculated)
3. That 70's Show (although it straddles the end of the 90's, counteracts "Married ... With Children's" split-time in the 80's)
2. Newsradio
1. Seinfeld

During my absence, I had a lot to think about -- career plans, personal relationships, why God lets sharks eat people, etc. But I thought about none of this. Instead, I pondered what laws to enact if suddenly given unilateral decision-making power for all things.

My platform:

-- Sweatpants will be universally recognized as "business casual."

-- One out of every four NBA draftees will be required to grow a high-top fade (assuming selected person possesses this capability). Enforcement will be similar to random security checks at airports, and will continue until "the box" is officially back in style.

-- Sporting the "popped collar" will be a felony, punishable by three to five years in a maximum security penitentiary. If on the golf course, the violation will be reduced to a misdemeanor, punishable by a six-hundred dollar fine and an open-handed slap to the face.

-- Buying beer on Sundays will no longer be prohibited in the Bible Belt. If it wasn't for unmatched sweet tea, this would have single-handedly pushed me out of the region years ago.

-- All restaurants will provide mints at the door.

-- No matter what the job is, listing fantasy league championships under "experience" on your resume would always make perfect sense.

As you can see, I kept it to one cause for every day since my last update. No sense in overextending myself. (Keir B.) -- Considering his shameless appearance on "60 Minutes" last night, I thought, if ever there was a time to show Bill Romanowski protecting a mythical fortress from a feisty orange-haired steed, surely this must be it. -- The Rolling Stones actually have defibrillators backstage. On one hand, nothing says "rock n' roll" less than geriatric medical precautions. But on the other hand, nothing says "rock n' roll" more than touring against all rational judgment. Long live The Stones.



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