By The Intern
Page 2 (Chad Y.) -- Make sure to check out the "News" section for Snoop's youth football league, which includes updates on the Snooper Bowl, Players of the Week, and Letters From the Commish. He's like the Compton Pete Rozelle. (Russell S.) -- Shane Battier doles out advice blander than an A-Rod interview. Seriously, it's like Shane thought of the most obvious, uncontroversial statements possible, then tried to pawn them off as profound.

"When I get tired at night, I like to go to sleep."

There, I just created a shaneism. (John G.) -- Sad story on former NFL kicker Cole Ford, who had a bizarre fall that landed him in a mental institution. What's even stranger is the random tie-in to Siegfried and Roy, who Ford calls "some of the most dangerous people in our country." I'm telling you, the Vegas act is just a front for something truly sinister. Next we're going to hear about the time Roy pistol-whipped Suge Knight in an L.A. club before going T.O. on the frightened crowd, screaming aloud, "WHO ELSE WANTS SOME?!! KING KONG AIN'T GOT &%$# ON ME!!!" -- "Do not go gentle into that good night. Rage, rage against the dying of the light." -- Dylan Thomas

Okay, that's probably a little melodramatic, but this "Arrested Development" article had me fired up for a battle cry. -- Top Ten Bizarre Celebrity Offspring Names. Although this one's pretty musician focused, how can you leave out the vanity of George Foreman? The man actually named all five of his boys George (even naming his two daughters Freeda George and Georgetta)!

Nurse: "Name for the child?"

George: "George!"

Nurse: "C'mon, that's the fourth ti ... "

George: (shadow-boxing the OB/GYN) "GEORGE! GEORGE! GEORGE!"

Nurse: (mumbling) "You idiot."

Considering the disappointing results of the UGA and Falcons games, the following exchange was probably the highlight of my otherwise depressing weekend:

Me: (checking NBA box scores during the Falcons game) -- "What the ... Raef LaFrentz has 27 at the half."

My friend Connor: (laughing) "What?"

Me: "Yup. He's already got seven 3's."

(brief pause)

Connor: "Raef LaFrentz is a man among boys." -- I already linked to it a couple months ago, but I'm putting up the phenomenally insane James Brown interview again. Officially, I'm reusing it because of the extended interview footage (the "deleted scenes rationale"). Unofficially, I think the link should be permanently affixed to this page and I just needed an excuse to revisit it. -- An auction for a one-hour tennis lesson and vegan lunch with Martina Navratilova received zero bids. I should mention that the PETA sponsored event started at a cool 20K, which is obscene -- I could eat poached koala every day for a year on that kind of cash. -- Details on Louisville's Muhammad Ali Center, a museum dedicated to the boxing great that opens a week from today. Greatest sports photograph ever. -- White Chocolate's Miami progress report, which only serves to remind me how much I once missed those Kings days. I say "once" because Stephon Marbury forever tainted them during an interview when, asked whether he was impressed with the flashy Williams, Steph smirked and dismissively stated, "Look, I was doing all that stuff when I was 13." His voice left no doubt that it was true, too. I felt like I had just found the perfect new hat, only to come home and find that Stephon Marbury had urinated all over it.

Clinton Portis (Jonathan C.; note -- immediate sound) -- Clinton Portis goes on a 10K Best Buy shopping spree. At this point, I'd probably link to Clinton eating a sandwich. He never fails.

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