"There's Fredo, there's Sonny and there's Michael. The Godfather handed it over to Michael. I have no problem handing it over to Dwyane."
-- Shaquille O'Neal on comparing Penny Hardaway and Kobe Bryant to Dwyane Wade
"I'm tellin' ya man, to be able to stroke it like that must be some kind of feeling."
-- Dick Vitale on J.J. Redick's ability to hit 3s
"Just as Jesus sacrificed himself for all of us, maybe this is a chance for me to do that for my team. The inferno could be like the hell, and then I could, you know, step up and take the place of somebody like Christ did for us on the cross."
-- Cowboy John on volunteering to take The Miz's place in the Inferno on the "Real World/Road Rules Challenge"
"I can't believe I got my butt whooped by a homosexual, but a lot of gay folks are strong, you know? They're always going to the gym."
-- James the Redneck after losing to Coby in a mission on "Survivor"
"Doug is distraught. He's still not over the trade, and it's not even the basketball part of it. It's the feel of Sacramento, the fans, the community. Sometimes he gets so down. We have a farewell video that the Kings gave us before we left, and I'll find him sitting there watching it, and he gets all choked up. I'll tell him, 'Doug, you have to stop.' But everything was so special there."
-- Jackie Christie
"In the end, those of us who walk away not winning win more than just a loss."
-- Audrey after getting fired from "The Apprentice"
"I try to keep my distance from it. I don't want to catch anything. That thing has been passed around more often than Paris Hilton."
-- Theo Epstein on the World Series trophy
"Any time I've taken the mound, it's always been the old Samson-and-Goliath story written about me."
-- Randy Johnson
"He probably was a little tired from All-Star weekend. While he was running up and down the court throwing it off the backboard, I was laying on the beach drinking a fruity drink with an umbrella. So I probably gave myself an unfair advantage on that one."
-- Jalen Rose explaining why he outplayed Vince Carter two days after the All-Star Game
"As for music and my place in it, maybe things are changing a little bit. I know this: a good song is deeper than a tattoo. It'll remind you of the car you're driving and the girl you're going around with and the streets you're cruising. It's better than a photo album. A song is a tattoo that you never lose. 'Ice, Ice Baby,' man, you'll remember that when you're 90."
-- Vanilla Ice on his place in history
"I thought it was a brilliant play. We almost got away with it. I was stuck in an alley, boys, there was no place to go. And I gave my karate. I only got to yellow belt, but I gave them my karate. And, again, I think Brandon's a great pitcher. I played with him in high school."
-- A-Guez on his infamous Game 6 karate chop on Boston pitcher Bronson Arroyo
"I'm pretty sure that me not liking Alex Rodriguez is not a groundbreaking story."
-- Curt Schilling responding to the ongoing war of words with A-Rod