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Ashton Kutcher
"Dude, you do the math. Seriously, please? I can't."

What the heck was Ashton Kutcher thinking when he read a story in the "National Enquirer" that placed his age at 30, instead of the reported 26?

A. "No biggie. Demi's actually 57."

B. "Oh, man. If this gets out, I'll only be on MTV nine times a day."

C. "Hmmm ... now who's the hottest 50-year-old mom?"

D. "Hooray! Now I can listen to Phil Collins without shame."

E. "I didn't realize dating an older woman would age me this fast."

F. "So what? It's not like I was going to pitch in the Little League World Series or anything."