ESPN

'Whisker Wars' Rates Athlete Beards

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Keith Malloy, Surfer

Photograph By Craig Barritt/Getty Images

Alex LaRoche: A+. If this guy had a nickel for every time someone in board shorts called him "Grizzly Adams," he'd have about $40.15. Also, does he really surf with a flannel?

Jack Passion: A+. The archetypal beard. Perfect form. Not too grizzled, not too groomed. A beard taps into something as ancient as the waves -- Malloy rides both.

Miletus Callehan: A. This is a great beard, enough said. Women love it, men admire it and all animals obey your command.