ESPN

'Whisker Wars' Rates Athlete Beards

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Jared Allen, Vikings

Photograph By Genevieve Ross/AP Images

Alex LaRoche: A. Hell yeah, this dude is from Texas.

Jack Passion: C+. Jared, you've got the goods. Why groom such a facial fur field so close? I've never heard of a savage reining in the savagery. Damn son, cut loose and let it grow.

Miletus Callehan: C. I don't know if it's that sad, sad face or the all-out blandness of Jared's business beard. He'll have to do with an average C.