KM: We were both born in the Seattle area. What was your hospital?
GS: I have no idea.
KM: You haven't looked at your birth certificate lately?
GS: No. I don't think I've ever actually seen it firsthand.
KM: How do you know who you are, then? What if you're somebody else?
GS: I don't worry myself with those details.
KM: Is it true that after games, there are a dozen women waiting for you?
GS: It might be, but they're all 16, so I'd go to jail.
KM: Is it so professional now that you have publicists do that kind of lead work for you? Or is it still the old-fashioned way: You meet a girl at a bookstore or something?
GS: Yes, a bookstore. That's where I meet them.
KM: Do you think baseball should add another 30 or 40 games? Play, like, 192 or so?
GS: Might as well make it an even 200.
KM: I've heard you described as very quiet. Do you whisper? Or just keep a low profile?
GS: Just low profile. I talk to myself a lot. You can see me in the outfield: My lips are moving, and there's no one around. It's kind of funny.
KM: Ever had a game where no balls came your way? So you just stood there and talked?
GS: I've gone games without having any balls, yes. And if you don't get any hits, either, you kind of sit there and think, I did nothing to contribute today. That's what's weird about baseball—you can be a nonfactor in some games and still win.
KM: Would you ever consider calling a team meeting but then not saying much?
GS: That's a good idea. I'll call a meeting, get everyone in there and just pace silently for five minutes, then be like, "All right, let's go!" That would fire guys up.
KM: What do you typically do after a game?
GS: I hit the couch, maybe watch some TV or play some PS3 and call it a night.
KM: Does PlayStation 3 work with Guitar Hero?
GS: You'd better believe it. But we play Rock Band here.
KM: I tried "Slow Ride" on Guitar Hero once. I was awful. I wanted to trash the guitar. But then we'd have to go buy new equipment.
GS: Get the warranty, and you'll be all right.
KM: Last question, but I've got to find someone. I'm at a production facility in New York for a meeting. [Yelling into the room] Where's our guy who has Grady on his team?
Todd: [Joining the call] I do.
KM: You get to ask him one final question.
Todd: I enjoy having you on my fantasy team.
KM: Anything Grady could do to help your team?
Todd: He could steal a few more bases. Right now I'm playing a guy who has José Reyes.
GS: So steal more bases?
Todd: Yes, like, literally two more this week. That's it.
GS: Okay. I can do that.