Awkward moment no. 4,736,554 in Cowboys tailgating history. Getty Images

There are few things in sports more romanticized—fetishized, even—than "the way food tastes at a game." It can be good, sure, but it's a context thing. Like that seven dollar Old Style at Wrigley. Take it out of the ballpark and seven bucks for a beer that retails for $8 a 12-pack starts to taste a little less sweet. But inside, it's part of the Cubs experience. It allows vendors to pull down 35K in a summer and create a freaking web site. And it's charming, sure, but we still "charm" them down to #105 for value on the franchise rankings.

That brings us to tailgating. It isn't just a party, it's a right to have it your way and still do the game. It's hanging with friends and laughing in the face of the seven dollar brew, thank you very much. So to us, the advancement of the cause is paramount. Thus, get involved, and hit up Mario Betalli to become a tailgating legend in your own time, and win some stuff too.

And remember: they still taste good, but those Cracker Jacks are five bucks.

And they come in a bag. A bag that retails for $.99.