Why yes, that is Elizabeth Berkley. Getty Images

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Went to a bachelor party about a year ago and got in a huge argument about what flick should have won Best Picture in 1994. In case you forgot, the nominees were: Forrest Gump (won), Four Weddings and a Funeral, Pulp Fiction, Quiz Show and The Shawshank Redemption. Seriously, how ridiculous a year is that for filmmaking? We've always been partial to Pulp Fiction—non-linear storytelling!—but one of our friends was arguing for Forrest Gump and another for Tim Robbins and company. Got pretty heated, resulted in an awkward silence at the bar. Lame. You know what isn't? Eric Stoltz (dude turns 47 today). Haven't seen him in a lot recently? No fear. He's in the upcoming Gus Van Sant pic Milk. Let's equate Stoltz to some athletes.

Eric Stoltz's MLB Equivalent: Ichiro

Preposterous? Hear us out. Ichiro blew up from the moment he hit the big leagues, Freddie Lynn-style. Stoltz's first film was Fast Times at Ridgemont High. That's amazing. The stats on that film are simply incredible: three actors in it (Penn, Cage, Whitaker) went on to win Best Actor Oscars. Side note: for our money, Judge Reinhold should have one of those puppies too.

Eric Stoltz's NBA Equivalent: T-Mac

Logic: Stoltz can pretty much play anything. Consider: Mask? The drug dealer in Pulp Fiction? The Passion of Ayn Rand with friggin' Helen Mirren? Fairly diverse roles. T-Mac can pretty much run anything from the 1 to 4 and had a few games in Orlando (where his support cast was lacking) during which it seemed he was playing the 5 too. Bonus: T-Mac'll get new life this year (we think) within the threesome of him, Yao and Artest. Stoltz is attached to 2009's Tintin, a 3-D version of the comic. Know who's producing it? Peter Jackson and Steven Spielberg. Seems it'll do well.

Eric Stoltz's NFL Equivalent: Matt Leinart

This is a bit of a reach, but check it: both went to USC (Stoltz dropped out after his junior year) and both have decent success with the ladies. Stoltz, during his career, has hooked up with Ally Sheedy, Jennifer Jason Leigh and Bridget Fonda. Not a bad run. Also, Leinart gets passed over for roles and apparently, so does Stoltz. See below.

Eric Stoltz's College Football Equivalent: Joey Halzle

Get this: Stoltz was originally cast as Marty McFly, then lost it to Michael J. Fox. Man, what a huge career turning point. Halzle was a front-runner to be the Oklahoma Sooners starting QB a year ago, but lost out to frosh Sam Bradford, who is now at the controls of a ridiculous offense, may win a Heisman and could play for a BCS title. Careers can really turn on one tiny thing.

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