Things I Yell at the TV

Just as all preseason football polls should be illegal -- how can you rank teams who haven't played yet? -- so should there be a permanent ban on phony-as-Velveeta "Heisman Race" polls until halfway through the season.

Well, we're halfway through the season and anybody who still has Tim Tebow or Colt McCoy at the top of their polls must've just emerged from prison in Reykjavik.

The undisputed king right now is running back Mark Ingram, the main reason Alabama is undefeated and No. 2 in the BCS. He has the helmet, the right leg and the stiffarm already in his pocket.

Tebow? The man has only 8 passing TDs. Ingram has that many rushing, and another three receiving! Eight touchdowns? Oklahoma's Sam Bradford won a tight Heisman race last year with 50! Eight TDs? Does Tebow have the swine flu?

You say Tebow led the game-winning comeback for Florida against Arkansas. I say Tebow's six sacks and two lost fumbles were the reason his team was behind in the first place. Oh, by the way, Ingram has zero lost fumbles this year. He ran for 246 yards and 1 TD against South Carolina Saturday.

In fact, this would be my vote if I had to cast today:

1. Ingram
2. Ingram
3. Ingram
4. Jimmy Clausen, QB, Notre Dame
5. Ingram

And yet, Tebow remains on top of Heisman polls now for no known apparent reason. If he were to win it in a rubber-stamp vote, it would be the worst miscarriage of the vote since Gino Toretta (1992). Pretend you never heard of Tebow or the fact that he will someday run the United Nations. The man ranks 84th in passing yardage. Eighty-fourth!

Ingram is the man now. He is on pace to run for over 1500 yards -- and most of that against merciless SEC defenses. He wears Johnny Musso's old No. 22, and -- not that it matters -- but Alabama still has never had a Heisman Trophy winner.

Remember, if we ran the world based on the polls people took before things got going, Hillary Clinton would be president today.