Too Short For A Column

They're having a parade because the New York Yankees won the title? Why not throw one because a bear ate a salmon? Or a hurricane knocked over a trash can? Hey, the bully just gave the nerd a wedgie! Let's throw a parade!

Look, the Yankees played well. But isn't that what the Yankees are supposed to do? They paid their players almost twice as much as the Phillies team they beat -- $208M to $111M. Just the Yankees starting infield made more than 15 teams this year. Throw them a parade? I don't get it. So what? George Clooney got a girl, Paris Hilton slept in satin sheets last night and Bill Gates went to the bank. Call me when you've got some news.

Oh -- and the next Yankees fan who looks to the heavens and sighs happily, "It's been nine long years!" gets tied to the front of the 4 train and run into a wall. Nine years? Nine years is a cigarette break to most teams in MLB. Chicago Cubs fans are at 101 years and counting. Cleveland Indians' fans: 62. New York/San Francisco Giants: 55. Pittsburgh Pirates: 30. Gee, nine whole years? The Boston Red Sox waited 86 years for theirs. The Chicago White Sox -- 88! There are people in swine flu lines longer than nine years.

Hope your parade takes a wrong turn off a pier.

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