Deviating from the script
In case you were too busy celebrating Johnny Manziel’s 21st birthday and missed out on sports, we’ve got you covered. Here’s everything you missed this weekend.
A disturbance in the Force
After spending eight months recovering from a torn Achilles, Kobe Bryant made his return to the hardwood Sunday night when the Los Angeles Lakers hosted the Toronto Raptors. After treating the Staples Center crowd -- or at least the 15 people in Los Angeles who bothered getting to the game on time -- to an over-the-top Darth Vader-themed introduction for the Black Mamba’s return, Kobe took the floor and attempted his first shot of the season. And he airballed. A hook shot.
On the plus side, Lakers fans, at least you know Kobe still hasn’t seen a shot he doesn’t love. On the not-so-plus side, he looks to have a LOT of work to do before he returns to pre-injury form. In 28 minutes, Mamba Vader had nine points, eight rebounds and eight turnovers. The Lakers ultimately lost 106-94.
However, as Jack Nicholson didn’t even bother showing up (IS HE OK???), one has to wonder if the Lakers even considered it a real game.
After losing star running back Adrian Peterson to a foot injury, being pelted by fans with snowballs and falling to the Baltimore Ravens in a wild finish that included a combined five touchdowns in the final 125 seconds of play, the Minnesota Vikings probably thought their day couldn’t get any worse. And then a catering truck crashed into their airplane at BWI. You know what they say, don’t let the food truck hit ya on the way out!
Apparently the catering truck ran into our plane... So we're stuck here for 3 hours. Not the snow... The catering truck. #areyoujoking?!— Chase Baker (@ChaseBaker91) December 8, 2013
Catering truck runs into plane, two hr delay, classic!— jerome felton (@jfelton45) December 8, 2013
The team ultimately made it home late Sunday night. Coaches and players will have to wait for the results of Peterson’s MRI to know just how truly bad their day was.
Nice to meet you!
The Carolina Panthers had their eight-game winning streak snapped by Drew Brees and the New Orleans Saints in a 31-13 loss Sunday night, but defensive end Greg Hardy easily won the “Key and Peele” award for best introduction.
Whether you’re a Harry Potter fan or not, you have to admit it’s refreshing to hear something different than “School of the Hard Knocks,” “Ball So Hard University” or the ever-present “The U” or “THE Ohio State University.”
Try this at home
Those zany Miami Heat players continued their season-long quest to perfect the art of videobombing on Friday night after a win against the Minnesota Timberwolves. Per usual, LeBron James was doing his postgame interview when Dwyane Wade upped his cartwheel game and started mopping the court in front of him.
I couldn’t have been the only one hoping for a “maybe you could start doing that at home” tweet from Gabrielle Union.
If you like feeling awkward and uncomfortable, then this video of Jay Mohr -- a man paid to make people laugh -- attempting to roast Danica Patrick during NASCAR’s Sprint Cup Awards Banquet is definitely for you. If you’re more partial to not clenching your shoulders like you’re in a haunted house for three minutes, you might want to skip this one.
Because the death glares being shot his way weren’t enough, Mohr continued his attempt at humor at Danica’s expense on Twitter.
My dearest @DanicaPatrick . When you host the AMA's Tuesday night, be classy. Don't make any jokes about the artists. Xoxo— Jay Mohr (@jaymohr37) December 8, 2013
Hopefully Danica’s American Country Awards monologue Tuesday night will be slightly less awkward. Or at least have some jokes that, I don’t know, make me laugh.
See something worthy of inclusion on social media? Send it my way on Twitter, @darcymaine_espn.