Buzz That Was: Feuds and footwork
In case you were too busy watching holiday classics like "Ernest Saves Christmas" or "Jingle All the Way" and missed out on sports, we've got you covered. Here's everything you missed Monday night:
Monday Night (Happy Feet) Football
The Baltimore Ravens topped the Detroit Lions in a dream game for anyone who just can't get enough of watching field goals. The Ravens, who don't look like defending Super Bowl champions but somehow are, scored all of their points off of Justin Tucker's foot in an 18-16 victory. They don't call it football for nothing, folks! Tucker nailed the game-winner with 38 seconds to play from a franchise-record 61 yards out. And before the Internet even had time to make a meme or hilarious Vine compilation of his in-game facial expressions, Tucker fueled more web fodder in his postgame interview with Lisa Salters.
So, not only does Justin Tucker appreciate the plight of a fantasy football player, but he also drafted himself and needed his own points. Congratulations, kickers everywhere! J-Tuck (can I call him that?) just improved your reputation considerably. But Debbie Downer/Ravens wide receiver Torrey Smith apparently does not share Tucker's feelings:
I hate y'all fantasy folks who are tweeting me about your fake team...y'all make me sick...Ravens win that's all that matters to me— Torrey Smith (@TorreySmithWR) December 17, 2013
Tell us how you really feel, Torrey.
And while the Lions lost, the game did feature a special moment from inevitable rookie of the year Joseph Fauria ... um, in end-zone dance moves, that is. The tight end busted out the Cat Daddy after his fourth-quarter touchdown. So you've got that going for you, Detroit fans.
Rudolph, the red-nosed shortstop?
You know Dasher, and Dancer, and Prancer, and Vixen; Comet, and Cupid, and Donner, and that Blitzen one. But do you recall, the most famous baseball-playing reindeer of all? No? Not ringing any sleigh bells? Well, Baseball Reference remembers him, all right. It's Rudolph, the red-nosed shortstop from Toyville Township, North Pole.
Now I understand why no one would let him play in any reindeer games. With stats like that, can you blame them?
"Mean Girls, Part XVII"
Just as the sun came up Monday morning, Maria Sharapova and Serena Williams continued their long-running, "Mean Girls"-style feud. To recap, Sharapova "violated, like, the rules of feminism" when she started dating Serena's rumored ex-boyfriend Grigor Dimitrov. Serena then made this comments in a Rolling Stone story earlier this year: "[Sharapova] begins every interview with 'I'm so happy. I'm so lucky' -- it's so boring. She's still not going to be invited to the cool parties. And, hey, if she wants to be with the guy with a black heart, go for it." The writer of the article then wrote, "An educated guess is she's talking about Sharapova, who is now dating Grigor Dimitrov, one of Serena's rumored exes."
Serena publicly denied the interpreted context of her comments, but Sharapova wasn't thrilled with that and called Serena out for her alleged relationship with her still-married coach, Patrick Mouratoglou.
And just when you thought, "How much more talking to the media and not each other can they do?" and despite Serena saying over the summer that she apologized to the fellow tennis star, Sharapova somehow had more to say. In a New York Times article posted Monday on her return from shoulder injury, Sharapova was basically all, like, whatever, to Serena. Citing respect for the U.S. Open and French Open champ on the court, she said her feelings about the world No. 1 player off the court were "different."
Here's a thought, Maria. If you really want to silence Serena, maybe you should try winning a match against her. Serena has yet to comment publicly to the story and instead sat courtside at the Utah Jazz-Miami Heat game with Chris Bosh's wife. Like a boss.
Is that wink intended for Sharapova? Is it targeted at the speculative media? Does she just have a piece of popcorn in her eye? We'll never know for sure, but someone will inevitably read into it.
And on the late-night airways ...
Newly crowned Heisman Trophy winner and Florida State quarterback Jameis Winston continued his publicity tour Monday by reading "The Top 10 List" on the "Late Show with David Letterman."
A comedian in the making if this whole football thing doesn't work out?
See something worthy of inclusion on social media? Send it my way on Twitter, @darcymaine_espn.