That's What She Said: Year in review
'Twas the night before Christmas in my high-rise abode,
Below the streets glistened, above the moon glowed.
Just like the last year, and the one before, too,
I settled in at my desk, the year-end wrap to do.
From blackouts to shutouts, farewells and debuts,
Some stories so big they weren't just sports, but news.
Some athletes were praised, and some were admonished,
Some moments brought tears, some left us astonished.
The sports year began, as always, in Cali,
Stanford beat Wisco, 20-14 the tally.
Ball was a star, clearly headed for the pros,
But the Cardinal were awarded the final rose.
A week later South Florida was awash in red,
As the Tide put the Fighting Irish to bed.
The top story not Auburn, but rather Manti
And the "imaginary girlfriend" hoax he denied.
The Super Bowl had its own big story:
Brother vs. Brother for all the glory.
And for more drama and more intrigue?
Ray Lewis playing his last game in the league.
The 49ers seemed doomed to sink,
But a blackout gave them time to think.
And though San Fran nearly evened the score,
Quoth the Ravens, "Champs evermore."
In March we got madness of the hoops variety,
Watching our brackets caused great anxiety.
Dunk City was hot, UMich almost won,
But it was Pitino's Cards who got it done.
The lady Cardinals nearly won their own title,
Beating Berkeley to advance to the final.
But the Huskies of UConn proved too great,
Winning national title number eight.
Adam Scott made the highlights on ESPN,
Winning the Masters with a birdie on 10.
The first Aussie golfer to wear the green jacket,
His extra-long putter caused quite a racket.
Park was the star on the women's side
She's ranked No. 1 at just 25.
She welcomed 2013 with no fear,
Winning three straight majors to start the year.
April saw an annual tradition
Scarred by the work of evil tacticians,
Runners in Boston attacked mid-stride,
The awful images seen nationwide.
But runners and workers, they didn't leave,
Showing bravery like you wouldn't believe.
Giving help to those who had been wronged,
Showing the world they were Boston Strong.
June was a good month again for the Heat,
As they bested the Spurs for a title repeat.
Shuttlesworth kept 'em alive with a three,
And LeBron earned his second straight MVP.
The NHL lockout the season delayed,
Not only that, there were fewer games played!
But quick can be good -- took just 17 ticks
For the Hawks to upend the Bruins in six.
It was a dream of a year for one young Brit,
First to win Wimbledon since '36.
Andy Murray, his name, a Scottish bloke,
Grabbed the cup with a win over Novak Djok.
Marion Bartoli won the women's draw,
But the year belonged to Serena.
May be 32, but she's in her prime,
78-and-4 and won 11 times.
WNBA fans weren't surprised
To find the "3 To See" as good as advertised.
But Maya Moore said "Don't forget me!"
Helping Minnesota win and earning MVP.
2013 was a comeback year
For a Red Sox team known for "chicken and beer."
They won it all behind Big Papi
And rocked facial hair like Duck Dynasty.
Since the start of the year Peyton's been cruising,
But a lot of NFLers have taken a bruising.
Over 40 ACL tears and counting,
The number of names on IR is mounting.
The NBA season is under way,
But most teams in the East forgot how to play!
No lockout for hockey, which is swell,
But their Eastern Conference stinks, as well.
There were lowlights this year, like Kobe's tear,
And another DRose injury just isn't fair.
We spent way too much time on the Manziel scandal,
And Braun's bold-faced lies were hard to handle.
Speaking of liars, A-Rod got caught,
And Armstrong isn't the champ we thought.
Oscar Pistorius will stand trial
Hernandez has already been jailed for a while.
The Miami Dolphins bullying case
Made us wonder about the NFL workplace.
And what about Rutgers coach Mike Rice
Who mistreated players and paid the price?
But plenty of athletes did good things this year,
And sports gave us plenty of reasons to cheer,
Like Wambach's record and Rousey's rise,
Rivera's farewell and Tina Thompson's goodbye.
Jason Collins announced he's gay
And people said "That's fine, 'You Can Play.' "
The Iron Bowl was bananas, y'all.
And Diana Nyad inspired us all.
As year's end draws close, we put '13 to bed
And, with fingers crossed, we look ahead,
Hoping that next year is full of great plays,
"Holy Cow!"s, "Oh My!"s and lots of "No Way!"s
Here's to a snow-free Super Bowl in NYC,
And a warm welcome to all from the folks in Sochi.
Of these things and more tonight let us dream,
Merry Christmas to all, and bring on 2014!