Buzz That Was: Playing It Safe

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Shane Battier put it best. "Only LeBron can make breaking your nose look cool."

In case you were too busy spoiling "Scandal" for everyone else through your Facebook status updates and missed out on sports, we've got you covered. Here's everything you missed last night.

On paper, it's all LeBron

After missing a week of action due to a broken nose, LeBron James made a statement in his return to the court on Thursday. Oh sure, he scored 31 points to lead the Miami Heat in a 108-82 rout of the New York Knicks, but it was his decision to wear a Batman-style mask that really got everyone talking.

As Shane Battier astutely stated after the game, "Only LeBron can make breaking your nose look cool." I think I am now legally obligated to point out, breaking your nose really isn't that cool. Please do not attempt to do so, no matter how fun or stylish you think the mask may be.

Like anyone would do given the opportunity, Chris Bosh tried on the face wear after the game. Clearly listening to the Twitter masses, he found a cape (read: a towel) and fully embraced the comic-book persona.

And heaven forbid Thursday's television schedule had a moment where LeBron wasn't - gasp -- the center of attention, he ditched the mask to join forces with Jimmy Fallon on "The Tonight Show" for an '80s-style rap video about America's favorite pastime -- wastepaper basketball.

Good luck not having the chorus stuck in your head all day.

Clubbing with Sydney Leroux

While at the driving range on Thursday, U.S. women's soccer star Sydney Leroux decided to do her best Happy Gilmore impression. Somehow, she found a way to make Adam Sandler's iconic driving skills even funnier. And not just with her choice of John Daly-style pants.

Won't you join the Internet in watching this on loop for the rest of the workday?

High-gear fear

Last year, Pepsi Max and Jeff Gordon teamed up for a viral video attempt that featured a disguised Gordon taking an unsuspecting car salesman for a test drive from hell. It was so obviously fake that even the most gullible of Internet users -- including the ones who sent you the clip of the eagle picking up the baby -- could smell a hoax.

In an attempt to redeem themselves, the soda brand and the NASCAR driver joined forces again. They brought one of the first video's most vocal critics, Travis Okulski from car-themed blog Jalopnik, to Charlotte under the guise he would be test-driving a new Corvette. He was picked up from his hotel by an incognito Gordon, who was transformed into an ex-con cab driver. You'll just have to watch the rest to see what happens.

OK, Jeff Gordon. Calm down, we believe you guys. This one is obviously totally real. I say this mainly because I am too terrified that if I question it, I'll end up being in the backseat of their next prank.

Bad behavior

If you're wondering what NOT to do at a basketball game, look no further than the conclusion of Thursday's New Mexico State-Utah Valley game. After Utah Valley won the game in overtime, an ugly brawl involving players and fans broke out on the court.

Despite what the scoreboard might say, there truly are no winners here.

Smile! You're scarred for life

Not one to let a perfectly good surgical scar go to waste, Detroit Tigers reliever Joba Chamberlain decided to fully embrace it with a smiley-face tattoo that looks EXACTLY like what you used to doodle in your fourth-grade notebooks.

Just think, that will be on his arm FOR THE REST OF HIS LIFE. Hopefully his great-grandchildren will like smiley faces.

Does it go without saying?

Here is a picture of a sign reportedly spotted this week at the University of Alabama library. Yes, Auburn fans, Alabama apparently has a library.

See something worthy of inclusion on social media or just want to comment on one of today's stories? Let me know on Twitter, @darcymaine_espn.

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