Beware the hungry caddie

September, 16, 2011
09/16/11
10:56
AM ET

Every Tuesday and Friday, ESPN.com's Michael Collins (@ESPNCaddie) will dive into the vast world of golf on Twitter. Covering players, caddies, wives and more, he'll share his take on the best of the best.


Like to start with my morning coffee and seems that my boy Billy (caddies for Jason Bohn) feels the same as me ...

To the employee at Starbucks - I'm not your buddy or pal so quit calling me by those names. #annoying #tryingwaytohardThu Sep 15 21:23:45 via Twitter for iPhone

That's right, punk, just put my coffee down in front of me and back away slowly, and don't make any quick jerky moves, either!


From the Charlie Brown YEAH! ... AAAAWWW department:

@ToddABailey
Monday qualifying sucks....just shot 62 to avoid a 7 for 2 playoff. Whew.....

Todd then had to withdraw from the Nationwide Tour event he qualified for due to a stiff back.


You are what you eat ...

http://t.co/W5fzRQcw That's a good fortune cookie for my early tee time tomorrow.Thu Sep 15 02:22:20 via TweetDeck

Shot 1 under for the first round (Albertsons Boise Open) and the lead is 9 under. You didn't eat the cookie did you?


There's a chipotle, dunkin' donuts, and a 7-eleven on the way between golf course and hotel. #bingoMon Sep 12 23:30:17 via Twitter for iPhone

Tied for 25th after an even round at the BMW Championship. I'd call it a coin flip. I'd also say I gotta stop writing this when I'm hungry!


Nothing better than a golfer's honesty answering a fan's question.

RT @AdamJamesFinch @IanJamesPoulter Whats the most pressure uve ever felt?>> Ryder Cup it's the dogs danglesThu Sep 15 08:37:32 via Twittelator

I love that we can always count on Ian to never mince words.


Rory, this is either really cool or really uncomfortably weird.

Biomechanics testing this morning in Leeds. The things we do to get better :) http://t.co/ESgAcOXGThu Sep 15 10:28:43 via Twittelator

And you thought Albert Pujols was the only "machine."


OK, Rory, you're off the hook ...

Thats what i call outside da box thinkin! RT @cgf_gunnar: "@PaulStankowski: Throw Chainsaw Repair in & u have somethin' http://t.co/0Bf2nl5Mon Sep 12 23:05:28 via Echofon

I'm gonna go get my hair done and my swerve on and chop down this tree, baby! Why not just call it what it is ... Walmart!


I don't know about Bubba, but his caddie is looking for the exit.


My conversation of the week comes between two friends of mine that are both trying to work their way back from injuries. Jason Gore shot an opening-round 2-under 69 in Boise.

@JasonGore59 nice round for first day back in 3 months big guy. Keep it goingThu Sep 15 22:40:57 via Twitter for iPad

@ArronOberholser Thanks AO. Gotta be honest with you... I was nervous this morning! Friggin' weird!Thu Sep 15 22:41:58 via web

@JasonGore59 I can understand. How do you think I'll feel pegging it for the first time in over 2 years? I might crap myself.Thu Sep 15 22:54:48 via Twitter for iPad

"@ArronOberholser: I can understand. How do you think I'll feel pegging it for the first time in over 2 years? I might crap myself." Again?!Thu Sep 15 23:14:36 via Twitter for iPhone

@JasonGore59 sshhhh! Keep that quiet man.Thu Sep 15 23:26:13 via Twitter for iPad

It gives me great hope for my sport that guys at that level can admit their jitters and make fun of themselves just like the majority of us do with our friends.


Mississippi States D coordinater has a nice nameFri Sep 16 02:14:27 via Twitter for iPhone

Would you love him if his name was Timmy?


The Medal Stand

Bronze -- After all the debate to what a caddie really does and what a caddie is worth, Webb Simpson lays it out ...

Webb credits breakthrough year to having veteran caddie Paul Tesori on his bag. Seems like Tesori's touch is gold...Vijay, O'Hair...Thu Sep 15 21:35:07 via TweetDeck

All the caddie haters can send your apologies to: #ihavefootinmouthdisease@dummies.com Thank you.


Silver -- One of my favorite guys came up with this beauty during the first round of the BMW.

Mickelson and Bubba proving that two lefts don't make a right....two lefts and you are going backwards.Thu Sep 15 18:24:56 via web

Bubba kept making lefts and backed his way to a +7, Phil made a couple rights and finished 1 over.


Gold -- Well, she did it again, and not only am I giving her the gold this week, I'm officially declaring my jr. high school-like crush on her! LOL

Help us! RT @tiffjoh: Hey @TheEllenShow you gotta get LPGA badass/booty-shaker beth bader dancing on ur show! http://t.co/1MuW0jLFri Sep 16 15:56:42 via Echofon

Michael Collins covers golf for ESPN.com. He can be reached at ESPNcaddie@gmail.com.

Michael Collins

ESPN Senior Writer
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