Teeing off with best tweets

November, 21, 2011

Every Tuesday and Friday, ESPN.com's Michael Collins (@ESPNCaddie) will dive into the vast world of golf on Twitter. Covering players, caddies, wives and more, he'll share his take on the best of the best.

The moustache was the start of things this week …

@IanJamesPoulter Ian Poulter
It's Movember now … not sure might get the full chop. #TwitPict twitpic.com/7fcyf9

@SirDoubleL Luke List
Getting dialed movember #blond to black pic.twitter.com/DwI4NCHc

@LukeDonald Luke Donald
Love that Schwartzel grew a stache overnight! Would take me a month #babyface

C'mon, Luke … you shave barely once a month; you couldn't grow a peach-fuzz 'stache. Although, speaking of hair, your wife does bring up an interesting question …

@DianeDonald Diane Donald
I wonder if you can tell in person that John Travolta wears a wig, or if they are so good you can't tell.

Answer …

@DianeDonald Diane Donald

That answers my question then -- they are that good! "@DanHicksNBC: @jimmyrobertsnbc tells me Travolta not wearing wig"

Do you believe them? Me neither.

Presidents Cup tweets …

@TheChristinaKim Christina Kim
None of the gents from the intl team got a smile from Tiger. Saved it for only the Americans. Cheeky The most intimidating guy with a losing record I have ever … wait, that sounds ridiculous.

@Amanda_Balionis Amanda Balionis
Furyk-"I have a feeling Phil asked to play with me because he felt he could get a lot out of me. I didn't expect to play this well this week"

The marshalls are having an issue …

@geoffogilvy Geoff Ogilvy
Goosen on 18 from my perspective yfrog.com/ocpxegj @geoffogilvy Geoff Ogilvy
Kuchar getting ready yfrog.com/khsydkej

"I'm not gonna tell him to put away his camera phone; YOU tell him."

@geoffogilvy Geoff Ogilvy
Day and Day still smiling #presidentscup yfrog.com/kjervwdj

@HunterMahan Hunter Mahan
Fanatics at the @PresidentsCup … Great fans! Great week for Australia, proud to be an American!! yfrog.com/nu6mvrxj

@_Soki_ Paul Tesori
Here's a Pic of 'Team Leadoff' holding the Presidents Cup! @jtedscott @bubbawatson Thanks boys for the memories! #TwitPict twitpic.com/sZeKI6gf

@bubbawatson Bubba Watson
Our 4 fans here to support us "down under" !!!! #GoUSA lockerz.com/s/157971908

@bubbawatson Bubba Watson
Thanks to all the caddies & congrats!!!! #GoUSA lockerz.com/s/157970302

THANK YOU, Bubba, for giving props to the guys who carry the bags.

Nice gesture from an NFL kicker …

@JaxsonDeVille Jaxson DeVille
Congrats to the US team for bringing home the #presidentscup Hey @bubbawatson you wanna bring the cup to our 12/5 MNF game? @JoshScobee10

Ten minutes later …

@JoshScobee10 Josh Scobee
Desean Jackson is a punk. #growuputinybastard

*sigh* This is one of those "Once a football player …" things. I LOVE it!

Eat your vegetables …

@jteater12 Josh Teater
Just ordered grilled cheese minus the tomato but got a bowl of tomato soup. Doesn't make much sense.

Your mom called the waitress.

Home at last!

@BeatrizRecari Beatriz Recari
Finally home after 7 weeks on the road, but I forgot my dear Plant … Ops!! yfrog.com/h2a3tggj

The Arbor Day Foundation police need to talk to you about a murder.

You have good friends …

@Ben_Martin87 Ben Martin
What happens when friends come over. They go to work. yfrog.com/3vHZYvGl

You're losing them at an alarming rate!

Treat this like the old E.F. Hutton commercial …

@TrevorImmelman Trevor Immelman
right now Adam Scott. "@LiamKi1: @TrevorImmelman Hey Trevor who do you consider to be the best ball striker on the pga tour"

When he talks, you better listen.

If we were in junior high, I'd know you were lying but …

@jeehaeda Jeehae Lee
Side of your neck is not the best place to get a visible burn mark from a curling iron. #hickeyorabruise #NeitherISwear

Since we're all adults now, I do believe you. And who gets hickeys nowadays?

I bet he was thinking something similar standing next to you …

@elkpga Steve Elkington
9 gold medals … Carl freaking Lewis … And Sam elk … ESPN … College gameday pic.twitter.com/j2uLNaQD

"This is easier than singing the national anthem with a cold."

Careful whom you make fun of on Twitter …

@ToddABailey Todd Bailey
Wow … Kelly Clarkson …even your hair is fat.

Apology in 3 … 2 … 1 …

@ToddABailey Todd Bailey
Sorry, Kelly Clarkson just gained weight for this prohibition era song to look more realistic … my bad.

Todd, she has about a million followers for every one of yours.

I'm heading to the recruiters' office right now!

@ThePCreamer Paula Creamer
I want to go to the Marine Corps Ball!!! Please take me!!!

You BETTER wait for me!

I guess it IS that time of year …

@JamieSadlowski Jamie Sadlowski
You know it's hunting season when all the back roads have NY style traffic everywhere. #hideyourpetsitsnovember.

@bobbygatesgolf Bobby Gates
First fairway at spyglass …pic.twitter.com/lS6EMU7J

And now we know where all the deer are hiding. Golf course or next to a highway.

Did I say people were waiting for hunting season to really get going?

@lisacink Lisa Cink
Love a butcher with a sense of humor … img.ly/awDS

That's funny and freaky at the same time. Someone get that butcher some venison; he's bored.

Wow factor …

@EllingYelling Steve Elling
Yani Tseng is 22 and has amassed 20 of 27 points needed to get into Hall of [F]ame. Think I have sleeve of Wilson Pro Staffs older than her.

She's becoming a bit like the UConn women's basketball team, with people realizing the greatness a little late.

Yeah, but there's a difference between you and us …

@ RStanleyJohnson Richard S. Johnson
Golf is a game of patience. Started with a triple. Finished birdie, eagle, par to make it on the number:-) Hit it great all week.

If that were us, we'd finish bogey, double, triple. It's why you have your name on your bag. Strong mind, strong game.


Bronze -- You think guys wear cologne because we like it?

@erictmeller Eric Thomas Meller
Got talked into going for a run in Central Park at 3. Funny how that happens when a 5-10 Polish beauty is the one inviting you :) #menreasy

I think he's still running, poor guy.

Silver -- Who's going to be Mario?

@jeehaeda Jeehae Lee
Ogilvy vs. Luigi. Uncanny resemblance:pic.twitter.com/LEdRBMHW

I definitely want him to keep the 'stache, but every time I see him, I'm going to hear that music in my head.


@KyleThompsonPGA Kyle Thompson
Nice rack! /lockerz.com/s/157643663

Good way to wrap up all those deer tweets I gave you earlier.

Michael Collins covers golf for ESPN.com. He can be reached at ESPNcaddie@gmail.com.

Michael Collins

ESPN Senior Writer



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