PHILADELPHIA -- Uh-oh. May we have your attention out there in the Twitter-verse. Yes, it's true. He's back. Ozzie Guillen is back on Twitter.
After three-and-a-half months of peace and Twitter serenity, the ever-loquacious manager of those Miami Marlins tweeted last week for the first time since May 17, firing off a dramatic: "Iam. Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack."
And so he was. That was the start of five consecutive days of tweets from a man who only was 15 weeks removed from swearing off Twitter for life. So what happened, you ask? What lured him back to Twitter after all these months?
Very simple, Guillen said Tuesday, before the Marlins' game with the Philadelphia Phillies. "I was bored."
So far, Guillen's tweets (@OzzieGuillen) have been remarkably tame, especially for him. He complained about the traffic in South Florida and the taxis in Washington. He congratulated Miguel Cabrera and Felix Hernandez on their player- and pitcher-of-the-month awards. He announced that Michele Obama spoke well and "she.look.great." And, apparently, he had a nice chat with a spider about baseball: "i have a talk whit spider and i learn few think about the game lol lol."
But whatever it was that went on there, it was vintage Ozzie. And there's more coming, he said Tuesday. Lots more.
"It's something I like to do," Guillen said. "And I wanted to tweet before the season was over, because if I start tweeting after the season is over, people are going to talk. They'll say, 'The Marlins told him not to do it during the season.' ... No, I don't tweet because I don't feel like it. Now I'm back. I just tweeted a couple of things, a couple of birthdays, anniversaries, good restaurants, nothing important yet. But that will happen. I will. It's coming."
He's not ready to tweet out the important stuff yet, he said, "because I'm not watching ESPN. I'm not watching MLB. I don't feel like watching those every night, because we're not playing good. ...
"The good things," he went on, "are coming out pretty soon, when I'm sitting in my house watching baseball and I see people talking about baseball. And that's coming very soon. Two more weeks. For me, it's gonna be two more weeks."
Now to be technical, the Marlins' season actually won't be over for three more weeks. But from all indications, once the postseason begins, October Life According to Ozzie won't be far behind.
And Guillen said this time around, he's determined not to get annoyed by his Twitter critics -- the same people who drove him away in May.
"I'm not going to pay attention," he said. "I mean, if you don't like the way I tweet, why (are) you following me? It's like watching the Kardashians. If you no like it, why do you keep watching it?"
You should know, however, that Guillen's new-found enthusiasm for Twitter comes with one reservation -- one he can't seem to do anything about.
"Tweeting -- I wish I could make money on that," he said, with a shake of the head. "I don't make any money on that. I make enemies. And that's not a good thing to make."