Bottom 10 teams looking to trade places

The Bottom 10 inspirational thought of the week:

"All battles are fought by scared men who'd rather be some place else."
-- "In Harm's Way," John Wayne

Two weeks into the 2010 college football season, it's clear that the Bottom 10 teams would rather be some place else on Saturdays.

And there's no question Virginia Tech coach Frank Beamer would have rather been anywhere else than standing on the sideline of Lane Stadium in Blacksburg, Va., last weekend.

The Hokies, who two weeks ago were ranked in the top 10 and had visions of playing for a BCS national championship at season's end, lost their second game in six days, falling to FCS foe James Madison University 21-16.

A 2009 Harris Poll reported that John Wayne was ranked third among America's favorite film stars. Wayne, who died in 1979, was the only deceased film star on the list.

The Bottom 10 teams might play like they don't have a pulse, but no one is clamoring to watch them play on Saturdays -- except their opponents.

And like the actor affectionately known as the "Duke," the Dukes might be considered true American heroes after upsetting Virginia Tech. For those college football fans who believe Boise State has no place playing in the BCS national championship game, the Dukes' upset of Virginia Tech was a welcome sight.

Boise State is ranked No. 3 in the country after coming from behind to beat the Hokies 33-30 in its opener on Labor Day night. But after Virginia Tech lost to JMU, the Broncos' opening victory carries far less weight.

One Bottom 10 team might muster enough true grit to win its first game this weekend. Winless Colorado State plays Miami (Ohio) in the Pillow Fight of the Week on Saturday at Yager Stadium in Oxford, Ohio. The Red Hawks will try to keep their modest one-game winning streak intact, after beating Eastern Michigan 28-21 last week.

With apologies to John Wayne and Steve Harvey, here's this week's Bottom 10:

Waiting list: Arkansas State (0-2), Minnesota (1-1), Big East DUIs, Colorado (1-1), UNLV (0-2), Vanderbilt (0-2), jersey selling, Bowling Green (0-2), Tennessee's desire, Washington State (1-1), UCLA (0-2).

Mark Schlabach covers college football for ESPN.com.