Former New York Giants kicker Josh Brown admitted publicly to domestic violence for the first time during an interview with "Good Morning America," but he disputed the more than 20 incidents claimed by his now ex-wife, Molly Brown, and he said he never hit her.
Brown, 37, wants to return to the NFL. He was cut by the Giants on Oct. 25 after admitting the abuse to the team.
"I mean, I had put my hands on her. I kicked the chair. I held her down. The holding down was the worst moment in our marriage," Brown said during an interview with ABC News' Paula Faris. "I never hit her. I never slapped her. I never choked her. I never did those types of things."
Farris asked Brown how people are supposed to reconcile him abusing but not hitting his ex-wife.
"They're not supposed to. What I did was wrong. Period," Brown said. "Domestic violence is not just physical abuse. We're talking intimidation and threats, the attempt to control, body language. An abuser is going to abuse to a certain degree to acquire some kind of a reaction."
Brown still seemed to take offense to the notion that he hit his wife.
"The world now thinks I beat my wife," Brown said. "I have never hit this woman. I never hit her. Not once."
Brown was arrested on May 22, 2015, in Woodinville, Washington, on suspicion of domestic assault in the fourth degree. Charges were never filed.
In October of last year, documents were released related to Brown's arrest. The letters, emails and journals contained admissions by Brown that he had physically, verbally and emotionally abused his wife.
"These were the things that you say to yourself and then you'd burn them. ... And I didn't," Brown told "Good Morning America." "The fact that my private things are being used against me, that's hard to swallow. I'm talking about my journals. I had to learn all that and write that down in order to heal, and now you're telling me that I'm going to be punished for trying to correct the things in my life that needed to be changed."
Brown was coming off the best season of his career in 2015 when he made 94 percent of his kicks. The Giants signed him to a two-year, $4 million deal last April despite knowing he was under investigation for domestic abuse.
In August 2016, the NFL ultimately suspended Brown for one game for what he repeatedly called a "moment." The arrest came after he was accused by Molly Brown of grabbing her wrist during an argument the previous year. He said that the league has known everything since the start of the investigation and that he's never tried to hide his problems.
But the arresting officer wrote in his report that Brown told him he tried to grab the phone and grabbed her wrist. Brown provided a different version of the story during his interview with ABC News.
"No, I did not. I did not touch her on the wrist," he said.
Brown, who was placed on the commissioner's exempt list at the time of his suspension, is still hoping to return to the NFL.
"I want to be able to play again. I want to be able to continue to write this story, continue to be a voice for change," Brown said.
With his admission that he abused his wife, he's not sure it will happen.
"Maybe. We'll see," Brown said. "If it doesn't happen, I'm fine."
NFL commissioner Roger Goodell said Wednesday there is still an open investigation into Brown's case.
"We do have an active investigation on Josh Brown. ... You know from last fall that we didn't have all the information from law enforcement," Goodell said. "They released some of that at a later date. We now have that information, and we will continue that investigation. Until we have a final decision, we won't be making a decision about anyone's eligibility on that front."