My Christmas wish list

It's been years since I've made a list of things that I want for Christmas. It seems like when I penned those lists, they were filled with toys and fun stuff. My list today would include some fun stuff, maybe even a few toys, and it would go a little something like this.

Dear Santa,
No, I probably haven't been a good boy all year. I pissed off those co-anglers pretty bad. I pissed off a few of the "real" outdoor writers (they whined something about me writing better than they do). I pissed off the wife a few times, too. I haven't flossed as much as I should. I did pay all my taxes — way more than I wanted to. I gave a little to the charities of my choice. I've tried to be a good guy. Most of the time. If you think I might have a shot at the Nice List, Santa, here's a few things I want for Christmas, in no particular order:

  • The jacked-up economy to get back on track so that people can afford to fish, buy boats and tackle, and have fun on the water.

  • The lady in Russia who opens her email to me with "Hello to the man not familiar to me" to stop sending me emails. I'm not going to save her from the clutches of the evil Russkies. Ever. All those other emails about male enhancement need to go away too. Everything works just fine. Thank you.

  • A BassCat that will float in six inches of water, run through four-footers without slowing down, carry enough tackle to fill a small store and still bump 80 mph, and sell for around $10,000. Hey, a guy can always dream.

  • A Mercury outboard that is powered by water bolted on the back of the BassCat above. Requires no maintenance, makes no noise, has no emissions, and costs around $5,000.

  • A MotorGuide trolling motor that is somehow built into the bow of the BassCat above. I want it to come out of the bow at the push of a button and be able to raise or lower it to adjust to skinny or deep water. Maybe with some kind of brain wave sensor thing that would steer the direction I wanted the boat to go simply by my thought process. Hopefully, that won't be in circles.

  • Barone to watch all 25 minutes of "A Charlie Brown Christmas". And like it.

  • One of the new Ardent F500 Flippin' reels. Actually, I'm going to be greedy and want four of them. Box 'em up, Jake.

  • To go through a fall hunting/holiday season without having to stress over sponsors and putting enough payola together to make it all happen for the next year. Ah, the joys of being your own boss.

  • The perfect tournament format (whatever that might be) with no entry fees and big prize money.

  • Peace on Earth, good will toward all, and happiness throughout the bass fishing community.

For more info on Kevin Short or to contact Kevin, check out his Web site at www.kfshort.com.