Women behaving manly
By Gino Bona
Special to Page 2

Annika Sorenstam is teeing up at the Colonial, and it's teeing off a number of men.

Vijay Singh, Scott Hoch, and Nick Price all voiced their displeasure with Sorenstam's foray into a PGA Tour event on a sponsor's exemption. Singh has been the most vocal critic. For his efforts, he's the 2003 winner of the Fuzzy Zoeller Apprentice Scholarship. (Insert golf clap here.)

Sorenstam has every right to test her abilities against the men. She indisputably is the best female golfer on the planet, and she needs a new challenge. And anyway, she could've picked a worse one . . . like when Eddie Murphy went from being the world's best comedian to singing "Party All The Time." So give Sorenstam credit for sticking to what she does best and sparing us an upcoming album.

If history gives us any clues about how the Colonial will pan out, the men of the PGA Tour have reason to worry. Just take a look at these women who rolled up their sleeves and succeeded at a man's job.

Chyna, Joey Buttafuoco
We know Chyna could send Joey Buttafuoco to the cleaners if she wanted.

Chyna, WWF Superstar
One minute, she's pinning guys to the canvas. The next, she's a pin-up girl for guys worldwide. She's a Playboy centerfold and the first woman to win the WWF Intercontinental Championship. Fact is, she'd pile-drive the Miller Lite girls in a Sink-Or-Swim match.

Terri Griffith in "Just One of the Guys"
It appeared that Griffith, an aspiring teenage journalist, had it all: Good grades, a wealthy college boyfriend, and looks that made legions of 12-year-old boys drool. When she failed to get a journalism internship, she went undercover at a rival school and disguised herself as a boy for a story and a second chance. I could give her big ups for being brave enough to tackle a man's world while eerily resembling Ralph Macchio at the same time. Or, I could applaud her for standing up to William Zabka's character -- Johnny from "Karate Kid" -- just like Macchio once did. But I must give Griffith the biggest 'standing O' for flashing Rick Morehouse on prom night to prove she was a woman. No objection here, Ms. Griffith.

Molly McGrath in "Wildcats"
She knows football, so she's given the whistle to coach the team at Central High. Several male counterparts snicker along the way, but she knows how to motivate her players by throwing keggers that would make Larry Eustachy drunk with envy. While the movie is a triumphant tale for females, it's just another sports movie for Hollywood's favorite athlete, Wesley Snipes ("Major League," "White Men Can't Jump," "The Fan," "Undisputed"). Snipes is a definite first-ballot Hall of Famer ... no matter what Jayson Stark says.

The episode from "The Brady Bunch" when Marcia joins the Frontier Scouts
On the outside, Marcia was the Brady Babe. On the inside, she apparently was terrorized by the voice of Martha Burk. That's why Marcia joined the Frontier Scouts. (This move prompted Peter to join the Sunflower Girls; the inspiration for Brian Kontak's idea is finally revealed). Anyway, Marcia impressed the Frontier Scout leaders by completing a nature hike in record time. Nice work, Marcia. But would you be willing to "pull a Ralston" and amputate your own arm if it was trapped underneath a boulder? Now that's manly.

Lt. Jordan O'Neil in "G.I. Jane"
O'Neil was a career Navy officer working in intelligence when she was tapped to be the first woman integrated into Navy combat training and placed in the SEALs program. It appears that SEALs is an acronym for Shaved head Equals A Lot of coin -- as Demi Moore was paid $11 million to get a buzz-cut and play the role of O'Neil. She does a bunch of one-armed push-ups and engages in combat to prove she can kill just as well as any guy.

Nicole Bass
Hey, the Tigers could use a cleanup hitter with biceps like that.

Nicole Bass, bodybuilder
She's 6-foot-2 with 230 pounds of muscle. She has a 50-inch chest, a 30-inch waist, and 18-inch biceps. She can bench 315 pounds, squat 425 and dead-lift 405. And you'll be calling 911 if you tick her off.

Yentl/Anshel in "Yentl"
Raised by her father to be an independent woman, Yentl hid her thirst for learning because Jewish law prohibited women from studying the Torah. After her father's death, Yentl admirably disguised herself as a boy and began her quest for knowledge. Sadly, this storyline was ripped off three years later when Mark Watson loaded up on bronzing pills and attended Harvard in "Soul Man."

The story of Thecla
Perhaps the most celebrated female saint and martyr among Christians in late antiquity, Thecla dressed like a man to be an apostle to Paul. Two thoughts come to mind: 1) Paul must've had a serious rap with the honies; and 2) My high school religion teacher is finally going to be impressed with my reading comprehension skills.

Gino Bona longs to write the perfect column on his "Wink & The Gun" site, which can be reached at www.winkandthegun.com . E-mail him at gino@winkandthegun.com .



Gino Bona Archive

Murphy: Page 2's Whiner Hall of Fame

Bona: Mr. Personality meets Mr. Basketball

Bona: Giving baseball some street cred

Email story
Most sent
Print story

espn Page 2 index