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Being ... Mike Dunleavy
Page 2 staff

For Mike Dunleavy, it's been a bittersweet year. His son helped lead Duke to the NCAA title. But he is the coach of the Portland Trail Blazers, the most dysfunctional team in the NBA. Click through his brain with Page 2.

Despite the league's highest payroll and arguably the best talent, the Blazers are flirting with seventh in the West; his best player is best known for acquiring technical fouls; and management seems determined to stick him with every washed-up, overpaid, disgruntled former All-Star able to walk and chew gum at the same time. What's a man to think?


"If I can teach a kid how to hit the clutch 3, why can't I get a few grown men to shut up once in a while?"

"Of all the owners in the world, why did I get the white guy who thinks he's Jimi Hendrix?"

"I guess Barkley was right. Jordan really was the one who made the Bulls go."

"What, Isaiah Rider wasn't available?"

(Steve Smith ÷ Bonzi Wells) +
(Arvydas Sabonis ÷ Dale Davis) +
(Damon Stoudamire ÷ Rod Strickland) +
(Scottie Pippen ÷ injuries) +
(Shawn Kemp ÷ Detlef Schrempf) - (Rasheed Wallace ÷ insensitive referees)
= Major playing time headaches

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