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Being Frank Thomas

Special to Page 2

One minute, he's asking for more money. The next, he's expressing regret and backtracking from his comments. So what the heck is going on inside Frank Thomas' head? Page 2 went between the Big Hurt's ears to find out:

Layoffs are mounting. Dot-coms are disappearing. The stock market is plunging more than Toni Braxton's neckline. And how does Thomas respond? By complaining that he is underpaid at $9 million per season. Showing that his spin control is in midseason form, the Big Hurt reported to camp and expressed regret.

My message for Jerry Reinsdorf:

"Look, I'm not saying that I want to renegotiate or restructure my deal. I just want more money."

Feelings of jealousy and envy:


Repressed feelings:

"0-for-9 in the playoffs? Who cares? I get paid for the regular season."

Future plans:

"The fans will understand my position better when I pull a page from Prince's book and paint 'Slave' on my face."

Basic principles:

"Greed is good."

Fond feelings:

"My man Sheff. Now there's a guy who's DOIN' something about this kind of shameful exploitation by the bosses."

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