|The Sports Book of Virtues|
By Jim Caple
Page 2 columnist
Through sources very highly placed in the secretive book publishing industry, Page 2 has managed to obtain a look at a couple of key passages from William Bennett's soon-to-be-published "The Sports Book of Virtues," which, like his previous attempts to tell Americans how best to behave, is surely headed for the bestseller lists ... at least, in Las Vegas.
My "Moral and Gambling Compass" for May/June:
The liberal elite is fond of labeling marijuana use as a "victimless crime," but I don't know what they mean by this. Do they mean the teenage addicts who drop out of school and never earn a decent living aren't victims? Do they mean the people who are mugged to feed someone's habit aren't victims? Do they mean the children who become hooked on a life of drugs thanks to this "harmless" hallucinogen are not victims?
And most importantly, do they mean the Mets fans who have seen their favorite team ravaged by overpaid, underachieving potheads aren't victims?
The simple fact is there is no victimless crime, no matter what the shameless Clinton administration would have you believe. What you do in your own home does hurt others, even if you don't inhale. And the Mets' awful record the past two seasons is ample evidence.
Put a nickle down on Atlanta.
While Hillary Clinton insists women truly can enjoy it all -- a loving family and a thriving career -- that is a utopian, unrealistic world. Without tuition credits, we can't all afford live-in nannies. Someone has to stay home. Someone has to care for the children.
That's why Annika Sorenstam should be back in Sweden raising a family, instead of raising controversy on the golf course. Vijay Singh is correct -- she doesn't belong in the Colonial Open. She did not earn her spot on the tour, benefiting instead from an affirmative action exemption.
Put 15 large on her to miss the cut and a nickle on Davis Love III to win.
San Antonio vs. Dallas
The NBA is filled with examples of this same promiscuity, with players fathering countless children out of wedlock. Fortunately, there is one man who stands tall against this tide of immorality -- San Antonio's David Robinson. He is a graduate of the U.S. Naval Academy, a devout Christian and the one basketball player our children may truly look upon as a role model.
Mr. Robinson knows the answer to this problem is not further sex education or the distribution of condoms in our high schools. He knows these policies only promote sex outside marriage. He knows what we must teach our children is not sex, but abstinence.
That's why I support the president's full tax cut to provide relief to millions of Americans and stimulate the economy. The way to give hope and incentive to the unemployed is to eliminate the tax on dividends now.
Meanwhile, I suggest laying down that $20 on a Funny Cide/Empire Maker exacta in the Belmont.
New Jersey at Ottawa, Game 7
Our supposed "allies" can choose not to join us in this duty, but repercussions come with that decision. Nuts to Canada. Keep the Cup in the land of the free and the home of the brave.
Put 10 large on the Devils to move on to the Stanley Cup Finals.
Jim Caple is a senior writer for ESPN.com.