Decision 2000: Page 2 goes to polls

It's Election Day, and the polls are open at

Let Page 2 take you inside our voting booth, where the choices are a little more exciting than Bush vs. Gore.

We're looking to fill some of the top spots in Washington with qualified candidates from the sports world. Our series of polls begins with the ballot for press secretary and runs all the way through the presidency. When you vote in one poll, you'll automatically move onto the next one.

So, vote early and vote often. (Guess we've got a little of old-time Chicago in us):

Position: Press Secretary
Job requirements: Able to deal with the media. Adept at putting a positive spin on negative developments. Successful candidates will be excellent communicators, but honesty is not necessarily a plus.

The Candidates:

Deion Sanders
Age: 33     Day job: Cornerback, Washington Redskins
Pro: Never met a microphone he didn't like.
Con: Once uttered the quote, "Fornication was my drug," possibly opening the door for potential scandals.

Bob Knight
Age: 60     Day job: Unemployed
Pro: Loves "to educate" and has shown the ability to take a strong hold on today's youth. Would be happy to help "move chairs around" in the media workroom.
Con: Would never be able to accompany the presidential staff on a trip to Puerto Rico.

Keyshawn Johnson
Age: 28     Day job: Wide receiver, Tampa Bay Buccaneers
Pro: Already has strong campaign slogan: "Just give me the damn job."
Con: Recently alienated a large voting base in New York City.

Phil Jackson
Age: 55     Day job: Head coach, Los Angeles Lakers
Pro: Has a tendency to speak in grand, philosophical terms that few can understand -- a perfect trait for this job.
Con: His "day job" is such a good one that he might not be interested in the position.

Bobby Valentine
Age: 50     Day job: Manager, New York Mets
Pro: Is a master of disguise.
Con: Will never be a "yes-man," which means he might never work out in Washington.

Decision 2000: Attorney General

Decision 2000: Labor Secretary

Decision 2000: Secretary of Defense

Decision 2000: Secretary of Treasury

Decision 2000: Vice President

Decision 2000: President

Caple: Gore, Bush and you

Ley: A well-stocked Cabinet

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