And Best Actress goes to ...
By Graham Hays
Page 2 staff

She has hinted at it before, but now it appears that Anna Kournikova might finally be serious about this retirement thing.

Earlier this week, the 22-year-old tennis temptress told the London Evening Standard that she plans to quit tennis in early 2004 and devote herself to becoming an actress and TV awards presenter.

"Acting and presenting are definitely things I enjoy doing," said Kournikova, who recently hosted the World Music Awards in Monte Carlo. "I'd love to appear in something like 'Sex and the City' or 'Friends.' I get offered lots of those sorts of jobs, but I've never had time to pursue them because of my tennis."

Page 2 wishes Anna the best of luck in her new endeavors ... and we're ready to help.

We've put together scripts for not only "Friends" and "Sex and the City," but several other roles that she might want to consider.

Anna joins the cast of MTV's "Newlyweds"
Anna on Newlyweds

JESSICA: So, like, how did you ever learn to spell your last name, Anna? It sounds so foreign. It must have been so tough as a kid learning things in another language.

NICK: Jessica, she's Russian.

JESSICA: Well, she could have said something if she's in such a hurry, I was just trying to be polite.

ANNA: Russia. World's largest country? Almost twice the size of the U.S.?

JESSICA: Oh, nifty, but how come they named a country after a salad dressing? Hey, do you have buffalo in Russia?

NICK: It's just background noise, Anna. Tune her out and she'll eventually forget to keep taking in oxygen. So why exactly are you moving in with us again?

ANNA: Well, my managers feel like the public has some misconceptions about my intelligence. They think it will help my portfolio if I can prove -- or if Jessica can prove -- that I'm more than just a pretty face with blonde hair. And nobody could track down Debbie Matenopoulos.

JESSICA: Hey, don't those blades on their feet make it really uncomfortable to sleep next to a hockey player?

Click here to check out Anna's script for "Friends"


Graham Hays Archive

Anna joins the cast of "Friends"

Anna at the MTV Video Music Awards

Anna joins "Sex and the City"

Anna joins the cast of "West Wing"

Anna's day in pictures

Page 2 Quiz: Anna or not Anna?

Sportoon: Anna needs a job

Who wants to date Anna?

Dear Anna -- Outtakes

Hruby: Back to basics

Page 2: Top 10 reasons Anna blew her top

Page 2: Unlock the mystery of Anna's tattoo

Merron: Desperately seeking Anna

Hruby: In search of a Kourni-clone

Being ... Anna Kournikova

Caple: The Anna tape revealed!

Shanoff: 'Unforced Error,' the musical

McKendry: In defense of Anna

Bakay's Tale of the Tape: Anna vs. No Anna

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