Hit the books
By Eric Immerman
Special to Page 2

Just in time for beach blanket and poolside table relaxation, Page 2 is here with a list of highly recommended book titles for your summer reading pleasure.

Dennis Rodman
If you're curious about Dennis, well then you've got problems.
Children's books
"Bi-Curious George and The Pre-Op Tranny in the Yellow Hat"
by Dennis Rodman (Bestselling author of "Tuesdays With Morrie, Wednesdays With Maureen")

"Horton Hears A 'Hoosier Daddy?' and Disembowels The Perpetrator With His Tusks"
A pop-up by Robert Montgomery Knight

"The Little Engine That Could ... But Abstained So As Not To Be Smited By A Disapproving God"
by A.C. Green

"Where's Waldo? Shawn Kemp Children's Photo Edition"

"The Grinch Who Stole To Support His Designer Ecstasy Habit"
A scratch-'n-snort book by Darrell Russell

Jeff Gordon
He may be going 200 mph, but at least he isn't bass fishing.
"The Berenstain Bears Non-Amicable Divorce Settlement"
by Jeff Gordon

"Harry Potter and The Sorcerer's Reduced Sperm Count and Rampant Bacne"
by Jose Canseco

"Charlotte's Web of Misogyny and Self-Destruction"
by Mike Tyson

"The Goose That Laid Golden Eggs and Susequently Never Worked Another Day In His Life"
by Richard Williams

"The Hardy Boyz Investigate The Validity of Nikolai Volkoff's Work Visa"
by Matt and Jeff Hardy

Self-help and self-improvement books
"Conversations with God Shammgod: An Unusual Dialogue with a Bennigan's Waiter"

"Mental Disabilities For Dummies: A Resource Guide For The Rest Of Us"
by Mike Price and Larry Eustachy

"The Best of Tonya Harding Living: Home Improvement Without Depleting Your Camel Cash Savings"

Tiger Woods
We didn't hear too much blame thrown around when Tiger got food poisoning.
"Who Moved My Cheese? (Oh, Never Mind, I'll Just Blame It On My Caddie)"
by Tiger Woods

Health and fitness books
"Herpes Simplex Type 1 Doesn't Discriminate Between The American League and The National League"
by Morganna "The Kissing Bandit"

"Prison Courtyards: An Inexpensive Alternative To Those Swanky Health Clubs"
by Nate Newton

Biographies and memoirs
"Get Your Own Disease, I Called Dibs"
by Lou Gehrig

"Passing You On The Left Now, Now Dammit, Now!"
by Lance Armstrong

Don King
Only in America can Don King and Steve Gutenberg be millionaires.
"My Stupendilicious Life: An Autobiographicalized Storyfication"
by Don King

"All I Really Need to Inhale From New Cans of Penn #1, I Inhaled From New Cans of Penn #1 In Kindergarten"
by Jennifer Capriati

"To Kill and Mock a Bird"
by Jae-kuk Ryu (forward by Randy Johnson)

"A Farewell To Arm"
by Aron Ralston

Eric Immerman is a contributing comedy writer to ESPN The Magazine and "The Late Late Show with Craig Kilborn." His material also has been featured on Laugh.com. He can be reached at eimmerman@hotmail.com



Eric Immerman Archive

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