Quite a one-timer
From the Page 2 mailbag

Is Tiger Woods filming "Slap Shot III" or "Happy Gilmore II"? Or is he just trying to give the rest of the PGA Tour a chance?

Tiger Woods
Page 2 couldn't figure out what El Tigre was up to, so we asked our readers to help explain what was happening in this week's Mystery Photo. Here are the best of the more than 800 responses we received.

Charles Barkley: "Those racist PGA commissioners are at it again. Now they're making Tiger use a hockey stick. What's a brother gonna do with a hockey stick?"
Trenton, N.J.

OK, fine! I'm tired of winning with regular golf clubs! I'll just beat everyone using this one hockey stick. After that, I'll use a rake. After that, maybe a pool cue. After that, Manute Bol!
Tom Pellegrino

It seemed like the perfect fit at first -- Tiger needed a stronger caddy, and Eric Lindros needed work.
Rennie Friedman

... and a chill goes up the spine of every NHL goalie.
Danny Cook
Clarksville, Tenn.

Win all four majors? Done it. Score 50 goals a year? No problem. Fix the New York Rangers? That's too much even for me.
Ian Lozada
Lynbrook, N.Y.

"Just a Cinderella story, coming out of nowhere. Cinderella story, here at Augusta, second shot, 18th hole, 185 yards, looks like he has .... a KOHO! ... It's in the hole!"
Terry Doughty

And here we see Tiger Woods getting ready for his round of golf with Bob Barker.
Little Rock, Ark.

Tiger calling his shot in a $500,000 grudge match with David Duval: "Using a hockey stick, off the Lexus hubcap, banging the fire hydrant, over the Brooklyn Bridge, banking off a garbage truck into the hole."

The New York Rangers announce yet another high-priced free-agent signing with questionable hockey skills.
Jason Beaulac
St. Albert, Alberta

Hey, Happy, somebody's clooooser ...

To stay in the playoffs, the Red Wings recruit Patrick Roy's worst nightmare -- a 300-yard slap shot with a little fade.
New York

"Dang. Pulled it."
Antone Sanchez

... unfortunately, Tiger's amazing 800-yard hole-in-one was disallowed because of icing ...
Eric Roe
St. Paul, Minn.

Wayne Gretzky ... ain't ... got ... nothin' ... on ... me.
Eugene, Ore.

"... so there I was hitting the golf ball with the hockey stick, and Mickelson is telling me he just won his first major, when I woke up."
E.J. Obando
Arlington, Va.

"That's it, Fluff, you're fired!"
Davis, Calif.

Tiger Woods introduces the new Nike Back & Butt Scratcher (TM). Available in fine men's stores or wherever Preparation H is sold.

Colin Montgomerie immediately complained that Tiger had an unfair advantage, and then blamed the Canadian fans for encouraging such "uncouth" behavior.
Washington, D.C.

We all wonder: "Does Casey Martin get to use a Zamboni?"
Mike Casazza
Morgantown, W.Va.

Somewhere, Tiger's drinking buddy, Keith Tkachuk, is skating up ice with a 3 wood.
Mike Y.

Rodney Suchland
Columbus, Ohio

Tiger's switch to Nike irons goes horribly wrong.
Weston Mass.

"Now I gotta find Bob Barker, so I can tell him 'The Price is Wrong, Bitch!' "
Clayton Chan
Irvine, Calif.

"... and then the Lama said to me, 'Unga Galunga Gagunga ... at least I got that goin' for me."
Doug Buckler

Too busy to check references, Tiger Woods pays the price by hiring Ian Woosnam's old caddie.

This is what happens when your girlfriend's Swedish.
Ed Egee
Alexandria, Va.

As a sign that his best days are clearly behind him, Ed Belfour gives up a goal to Tiger Woods from 310 yards away.

Tiger makes good on his bet that if he doesn't win his fourth straight Memorial, he'll spank himself with a hockey stick in front of 20 lucky contest winners.
Dean Marino
Portland, Ore.

Tiger Woods prepares for his first tournament since Vince McMahon purchased the PGA tour.
Don Pasda
Whitehall, Pa.

Tiger Woods wins a bet with Fuzzy Zoeller by beating him in a round of golf using nothing but a hockey stick, umbrella, and spatula.
Chris George
Washington, D.C.

"Jack's course, Jack's tournament, he deserves a chance."
Mike B.
Lexington, Ky.

As further proof of The Sports Guy's theory that women ruin everything, Elin Nordegren has apparently convinced Tiger to give up golf in favor of a game closer to her gorgeous, Scandinavian heart.
Blake Townsley

Adam Sandler wanted too much money, so they hired a virtual unknown in the world of comedy to star in "Happy Gilmore II."
Kent, Ohio

And here is the real caption from Reuters: Golfer Tiger Woods uses a hockey stick to hit a golf ball during a promotional stop May 27 in Toronto. Woods is promoting a new American Express credit card that bears his likeness. American Express intends to donate $1 of the new cards yearly subscriptions fees to the "Tiger Woods Foundation" to help benefit Canadian youth. REUTERS/Andrew Wallace


Mystery Photo responses May 22: Ready to rumble

Mystery Photo responses May 16: 'I thought you were a lefty'

Mystery Photo responses May 13: Gettin' buzzed

Mystery Photo responses May 6: Model citizens

Mystery Photo responses April 30: Double shots

Mystery Photo responses April 23: Beyond Yankees domes

Mystery Photo responses April 17: Take a number

Mystery Photo responses April 10: Off-Broadway BP

Mystery Photo responses April 3: Ahoy, Matey

Mystery Photo responses March 15: Duck, it's Costner

Mystery Photo responses March 4: Ohno, it's Katie!

Mystery Photo responses Feb.25: Pairs who share

Mystery Photo responses Feb. 6: Two minutes for stripping

Mystery Photo responses Jan. 25: Fore!

Mystery Photo responses Jan. 18: Look into my eyes

Mystery Photo responses Jan. 7: Eye of the Hurricanes

Mystery Photo responses Dec. 31: Might as well jump

Mystery Photo responses Dec. 19: Saint Nicked

Mystery Photo responses Dec. 10: Mac attack

Mystery Photo responses Dec. 3: Swept away

Mystery Photo responses Nov. 26: Tastes like chicken ...

Mystery Photo responses Nov. 19: At least these are in team colors

Mystery Photo responses Nov. 9: You can't hide

Mystery Photo responses Nov. 2: Trick or Treat?

Mystery Photo responses Oct. 26: 'So the priest says ...'

Mystery Photo responses Oct. 19: Hello?

Mystery Photo responses Oct. 12: Tennis, everyone?

Mystery Photo responses Oct. 7: He shoots, he ...

Mystery Photo responses Sept. 28: Safe at home

Mystery Photo responses Sept. 21: Coming up short

Mystery Photo responses Sept. 18: Hat tricks

Mystery Photo Sept. 7: Tough shot

Mystery Photo Aug. 31: Oh, Danny boy!

Mystery Photo Aug. 24: Baby doll

Mystery Photo Aug. 17: Wild night at the ballpark

Mystery photo Aug. 10: Doubles divas

Mystery photo Aug. 3: Hoops, I did it again

Mystery photo July 27: I've got it!

Mystery photo July 20 extras: Fiddling with captions

Mystery photo July 20: The Devil you say?

Mystery photo July 13: The BoSox Boys

Mystery photo July 6: Reunited...

Mystery photo June 29: This just in ...

Mystery photo June 22: Caught in the act

Mystery photo June 18: What's up with Bobby Cox?

Mystery photo June 8: Kobe Bryant plugged

Mystery photo June 1: Something about Shaq

Mystery photo May 25: Two wild and crazy guys

Mystery photo May 17: Nothing but net

Mystery photo May 11: Tim and Jerry

Mystery photo May 3: Drop 'em

Mystery photo April 27: Great seats, eh?

Mystery photo April 23: Ready, aim ...

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