It's Showtime!
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Something's up with Jack Nicholson and New Jersey Nets coach Byron Scott.

Jack Nicholson, Byron Scott
Page 2 couldn't figure out what these two doing, so we asked our readers to help explain what was happening or being said in this week's Mystery Photo. Here are the best of the more than 900 responses we received.

"Damn Byron, speaking of 'The Shining', I need my shades if I'm going to watch the game behind your glossy dome."
Schenectady, N.Y.

If it's one thing I've learned from movies...don't ever turn around.
Eric Gregorich

"This town needs an enema!"
Andover, Mass.

Jack: "You want answers?"
Byron: "I think I'm entitled to them."
Jack: "You want answers?"
Byron: "I want the truth!"

Jack: "You can't handle the truth! Son, we have a sport that needs ratings. And those ratings have to be procured by men with money. Who's gonna do it? You? Rick Adelman? I have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom. You weep for Doug Christie and you curse David Stern. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know: that the money I paid to Dick Bavetta and others, while tragic, was the reason that NBC got their game seven.

And my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, got ratings. You don't want the truth. Because deep down, in places you don't talk about at parties, you want me buying fouls. You need me buying fouls. You use words like Love IT Live and It's FANtastic. You use these words as the backbone to your arrogant, delusional existence.

I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the dramatic game 7 basketball I provide, then questions the manner in which I provide it! I'd rather you just said thank you and went on your way. Otherwise, I suggest you take your Eastern Conference Title and turn around. Either way, I don't give a damn what you think you're entitled to!"

Byron: "Did you buy 27 free throws?"
Jack: "I did the job you sent me to do."
Byron: "Did you buy 27 free throws?"
Jack: "You're goddamn right I did!"
Peter Vollbrecht
Sheboygan Falls, Wisc.

"See, Mr. Nicholson, if you start shaving your head now you can about the embarrassing receding hairline."
Brad McQ.
Houston, Texas

"Yeah man, Beantown does it to me too."
Greg Delzer
Spokane, Wash.

Mysteriously, Byron found the jumble, "peewS srekaL, peewS srekaL, peewS srekaL," written on the mirror of the visitors' locker room.
John R.

"Come on, Byron! Lets show these Laker Girls how to make a real pyramid!"
Adrian Pico
Riverside, Calif.

"Ohh magic 8-Ball, will I ever make another good movie."
Matt Ronski
Hartford, Conn.

Devil's Advocate

Jack Nicholson and Byron Scott reprise the roles made famous by Al Pacino and Keanu Reeves in, "The Devil's Advocate 2: How Else Could the Nets Make the Finals?"
Brooklyn, N.Y.

"Uh Jack... is that uhhh an Oscar in your pocket? Or..."
Larry Gilmore
Hollister, Calif.

Will the real Slim Shady please stand up?
Sue Kamman
Corvallis, Ore.

"Hey Byron, have you ever danced with the champs in the hot spot light? Didn't think so."
John Boerger
Everett, Wash.

"Yeah, your goatee is pretty cool Jack, but it takes a real man to grow a porn 'stache."
Dustin Brumbaugh

"Hey Phil, I know you're the Zen Master, but it looks like the Nets have their own Buddha!"
Eugene Garmize

"You are strong with the Force, young Skywalker, but you are not a Jedi yet."
Greg Delzer
Spokane, Wash.

"Not this time Jack, no wedgie for you, I've gone commando for Game Two."
John Roffmann
Tempe, Ariz.

And here is the real caption from The Associated Press: New Jersey Nets coach Byron Scott watches the action as actor Jack Nicholson peers over him during their game against the Los Angeles Lakers in Game 1 of the NBA Finals on June 5 in Los Angeles. (AP Photo/Michael Conroy)


Mystery Photo responses May 29: Slap Shot III

Mystery Photo responses May 22: Ready to rumble

Mystery Photo responses May 16: 'I thought you were a lefty'

Mystery Photo responses May 13: Gettin' buzzed

Mystery Photo responses May 6: Model citizens

Mystery Photo responses April 30: Double shots

Mystery Photo responses April 23: Beyond Yankees domes

Mystery Photo responses April 17: Take a number

Mystery Photo responses April 10: Off-Broadway BP

Mystery Photo responses April 3: Ahoy, Matey

Mystery Photo responses March 15: Duck, it's Costner

Mystery Photo responses March 4: Ohno, it's Katie!

Mystery Photo responses Feb.25: Pairs who share

Mystery Photo responses Feb. 6: Two minutes for stripping

Mystery Photo responses Jan. 25: Fore!

Mystery Photo responses Jan. 18: Look into my eyes

Mystery Photo responses Jan. 7: Eye of the Hurricanes

Mystery Photo responses Dec. 31: Might as well jump

Mystery Photo responses Dec. 19: Saint Nicked

Mystery Photo responses Dec. 10: Mac attack

Mystery Photo responses Dec. 3: Swept away

Mystery Photo responses Nov. 26: Tastes like chicken ...

Mystery Photo responses Nov. 19: At least these are in team colors

Mystery Photo responses Nov. 9: You can't hide

Mystery Photo responses Nov. 2: Trick or Treat?

Mystery Photo responses Oct. 26: 'So the priest says ...'

Mystery Photo responses Oct. 19: Hello?

Mystery Photo responses Oct. 12: Tennis, everyone?

Mystery Photo responses Oct. 7: He shoots, he ...

Mystery Photo responses Sept. 28: Safe at home

Mystery Photo responses Sept. 21: Coming up short

Mystery Photo responses Sept. 18: Hat tricks

Mystery Photo Sept. 7: Tough shot

Mystery Photo Aug. 31: Oh, Danny boy!

Mystery Photo Aug. 24: Baby doll

Mystery Photo Aug. 17: Wild night at the ballpark

Mystery photo Aug. 10: Doubles divas

Mystery photo Aug. 3: Hoops, I did it again

Mystery photo July 27: I've got it!

Mystery photo July 20 extras: Fiddling with captions

Mystery photo July 20: The Devil you say?

Mystery photo July 13: The BoSox Boys

Mystery photo July 6: Reunited...

Mystery photo June 29: This just in ...

Mystery photo June 22: Caught in the act

Mystery photo June 18: What's up with Bobby Cox?

Mystery photo June 8: Kobe Bryant plugged

Mystery photo June 1: Something about Shaq

Mystery photo May 25: Two wild and crazy guys

Mystery photo May 17: Nothing but net

Mystery photo May 11: Tim and Jerry

Mystery photo May 3: Drop 'em

Mystery photo April 27: Great seats, eh?

Mystery photo April 23: Ready, aim ...

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