Bang the drum slowly
From the Page 2 mailbag

Who said Paul Tagliabue has no personality?

The NFL commissioner tried to loosen up before the American Bowl game last week in Japan, but we weren't sure what he was up to with a Japanese drummer and a San Francisco 49ers official. We asked readers what they thought, and here's the best of the 500 responses we received.

The crowd is in awe as NFL commissioner Paul Tagliabue goes on a frenzied 20-minute drum solo apparently inspired by the unique Al Davis insignia drum.
Chris George
Bowie, Md.

The commissioner expresses his sentiments on NFL's popularity throughout the world. ... He was later fined for excessive celebration and a violation of the uniform code.
Don Veltman
Allendale, Mich.

"Can I just get a freakin' fork?!"
Jason Miller
Kaneohe Bay, Hawaii

These breadsticks are as stale as Bud Selig's tenure!
Eric Hochman
Tucson, Ariz.

In today's press conference announcing his retirement, commissioner Paul Tagliabue explained, "I don't wanna to work, just wanna bang on the drum all day."
San Francisco

"They told him don't you ever come around here. Don't wanna see your face, you better disappear. The fire's in their eyes and their words are really clear. So beat it ... just beat it!
Newton, Mass.

Paul Tagliabue shows off his drum skills acquired from countless years and record high scores at the local Whack-a-Mole.
Justin Long

With the first pick in the 2003 draft, the Cincinnati Bengals select ... drum roll, please ...
Dan Reiling
Colorado Springs

While Tagliabue takes time out to have fun overseas, Bud Selig is dancing to the beat of a different drum back home.
Kyle Peterson
Pasadena, Calif.

"See man! It's just like Tommy Lee said ... you rock out, and the chicks come runnin'!"
Grant Bailie
Brandon, Fla.

Standing in for Iron Chef blue, Paul Tagliabue prepares his final dish -- Jerry Jones wrapped snuggly around Steve Spurrier's ego.

Easy Mr. Commissioner, its a drum not a Japanese pinata!
Rick Sargent
Dulles, Va.

On behalf of the NFL, Tagliabue bangs the drum slowly for their terminal old friend, Major League Baseball.
Marcus Hendricks

"The tribe has spoken!"
Adam Rauch
New York

Paul keeps the beat while singing, "We are kicking baseball's butt ... do da ... do da."
Wes Holliday
Oshkosh, Wis.

My sushi is still moving!
John Fisch

Somewhere right now, under his breath, Bud Selig is uttering "showoff."
Tim Welch

Tagliabue, in the mystical Shinto tradition of the ancients, forever banishes the evil spirit of Dennis Miller from the NFL.
Adrian Lacy

An uncharacteristically zealous Paul Tagliabue, relights the sticks with a lit match and mouthful of vodka.

If you bang it, fans will come.
Rochester, N.Y.

Mr. Tagliabue trains for his Triple Threat Pay Per View Death Match with David Stern and Bud Selig. Although it will cost $95.99 to order and will require a Personal Seat License prior to purchase, it should be money very well spent watching at least two of these dictators bite it.
Danny Cook
Clarksville, Tenn.

(Fade in) Said the boogie, said up jump the boogie ...
Bawitdaba da bang da dang diggy diggy diggy said the boogie said up jump the boogie
My Name is Paaaauuuullll Tagliabuuuueeeee!
Mr. Mike

Paul Taglibue's audition for Blue Man Group went well, but sadly, he was turned down as he refused to shave his head, claiming, "My hair is me, man."
Matt Pedone
Bedford, N.H.

"Yeah, that's right. Big 'Tags likes to smack them skins. I'monget shizzznasty on the bass beat now! Yoko -- say 'Bonzai' for Daddy!"
Adrian Lacy

And here is the real caption from The Associated Press: NFL commissioner Paul Tagliabue, left, beats a Japanese drum with a Japanese drummer as unidentified representative of San Francisco 49ers owner looks on Aug. 2 during a welcome reception for the 49ers and the Washington Redskins in Osaka, western Japan. The 49ers and the Redskins clash Aug. 4 in an NFL exhibition match at Osaka Dome. (AP Photo/Koji Sasahara)


Mystery Photo responses July 30: Anna's New Look

Mystery Photo responses July 24: Crash Davis

Mystery Photo responses July 16: Glad to see you

Mystery Photo responses July 8: Bottoms up

Mystery Photo responses July 1: Wet Mr. Met

Mystery Photo responses June 13: A hit brickhouse

Mystery Photo responses June 6: It's Showtime!

Mystery Photo responses May 29: Slap Shot III

Mystery Photo responses May 22: Ready to rumble

Mystery Photo responses May 16: 'I thought you were a lefty'

Mystery Photo responses May 13: Gettin' buzzed

Mystery Photo responses May 6: Model citizens

Mystery Photo responses April 30: Double shots

Mystery Photo responses April 23: Beyond Yankees domes

Mystery Photo responses April 17: Take a number

Mystery Photo responses April 10: Off-Broadway BP

Mystery Photo responses April 3: Ahoy, Matey

Mystery Photo responses March 15: Duck, it's Costner

Mystery Photo responses March 4: Ohno, it's Katie!

Mystery Photo responses Feb.25: Pairs who share

Mystery Photo responses Feb. 6: Two minutes for stripping

Mystery Photo responses Jan. 25: Fore!

Mystery Photo responses Jan. 18: Look into my eyes

Mystery Photo responses Jan. 7: Eye of the Hurricanes

Mystery Photo responses Dec. 31: Might as well jump

Mystery Photo responses Dec. 19: Saint Nicked

Mystery Photo responses Dec. 10: Mac attack

Mystery Photo responses Dec. 3: Swept away

Mystery Photo responses Nov. 26: Tastes like chicken ...

Mystery Photo responses Nov. 19: At least these are in team colors

Mystery Photo responses Nov. 9: You can't hide

Mystery Photo responses Nov. 2: Trick or Treat?

Mystery Photo responses Oct. 26: 'So the priest says ...'

Mystery Photo responses Oct. 19: Hello?

Mystery Photo responses Oct. 12: Tennis, everyone?

Mystery Photo responses Oct. 7: He shoots, he ...

Mystery Photo responses Sept. 28: Safe at home

Mystery Photo responses Sept. 21: Coming up short

Mystery Photo responses Sept. 18: Hat tricks

Mystery Photo Sept. 7: Tough shot

Mystery Photo Aug. 31: Oh, Danny boy!

Mystery Photo Aug. 24: Baby doll

Mystery Photo Aug. 17: Wild night at the ballpark

Mystery photo Aug. 10: Doubles divas

Mystery photo Aug. 3: Hoops, I did it again

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