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Uncensored thoughts
on NBA playoffs

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Road Dog and R-Dub expose themselves, or at least their innermost thoughts, about the NBA playoffs:

Bucks coach George Karl rips Magic coach Doc Rivers
Karl admitted he was driven by feelings of jealousy and anger when he said: "It bothers me that Doc, with all his style and spin, got a job coming right out of the TV booth. ... He didn't pay dues."

George Karl
George Karl is trying to send some type of message to Doc Rivers.
Road Dog Thought Balloon: "What's George whining 'bout now? Jealous? You'd think he was on welfare. His long-time assistant Terry Stotts didn't get a head job and Doc did? Dues? Seen Doc get hit in the mouth so hard with an elbow one day that his bridgework came out in teeny pieces all over the Garden floor. If that ain't dues, what is? Who cares if Doc leveraged the $7-mil-a-year contract Karl signed to get an extension at $5 mil per? Let me get a big contract, and, b'lieve me, I ain't going on nobody else's job and knocking the shovel out of their hands. If George wants Stotts to have a job so bad, let him quit his."

R-Dub Thought Balloon: "Sounds like that Gene Hackman character -- but from 'Mississippi Burning,' not 'Hoosiers.' Why would GK stop plowing his 40 to poison Doc's mule? Don't send a lynch mob over to my house. I'm just asking. Anybody with 14 mil due, a piece of the club, ballers like Ray-Ray, Big Dog, Sam I Am and Too Tall Tim, who then complains about what's on another guy's plate, is never going be happy."

Charles Oakley Insanity vs. Vince Carter Vinsanity
Road Dog Thought Balloon: "Vince s'posed to be the Man. So .... where he at? Oak had me dying laughing, when he said, 'All the plays go through Vince (he's shooting less than 35 percent and averaging nearly six points less than the regular season.). This is the time you have to step up ... be a man. When they made the Dream Team, he went. All 12 of us didn't go. When they do commercials, we don't go. He goes.' Vince is 'bout to be the second coming of Harold Miner, not Michael Jordan. Gimme that boy T-Mac, every day of the week ..."

Vince Carter
Knicks will have to control Vince Carter to beat the Raptors.
R-Dub Thought Balloon: "Who died and made Oak Red Auerbach? Give Spree credit for choking Vince. Choking him on D this time. Yeah, Dog, I'll take T-Mac over Vince every day of the week, too. But I'll also take Tracy McGrady over every other player in the league, except KG Garnett. But I'll also take Vince over everybody on the Knicks, Raptors, Griz, Bulls, Pistons, Nets, Celtics, Nuggets, Blazers, Sonics, etc., and Geezers, uh, Wizards, too. Why do you think Jordan's coming back? So he can sign Vince free agent!?

Iverson insults gays, Ward insults Jews, J-Will insults Asians
R-Dub Thought Balloon: "Everybody is ignorant, only on different subjects. (Stolen from Will Rogers)."

Road Dog Thought Balloon: "Yeah, n------ will steal. But me myself, I ain't no bigot. I'm straight up. Say, Will Rogers -- he was part Injun, wasn't he? Injuns -- they like hoop, don't they? But they ain't self-starters. Don't have no business sense neither. Look at that Manhattan deal. They always gettin' beat."

John Starks' left one
Road Dog Thought Balloon: "TMI -- Too Much Information."

R-Dub Thought Balloon: "TMJ -- Too Much Jordan."

Portland Trail Blazers' meltdown
Road Dog Thought Balloon: "How can Shawn Kemp be a drug addict and overweight?"

R-Dub Thought Balloon: "Rasheed Wallace -- King of the Coach Killers."

Most eye-opening playoff player to date
Baron Davis
The Baron has really delivered for Charlotte.
R-Dub Thought Balloon: "Baron Davis, Charlotte. Him and McGrady."

Road Dog Thought Balloon: "Alvin Williams, Toronto. Him and Baron. Baron be bad boy."

Playoff MVP to date
Road Dog Thought Balloon: "Shaq Fu. Who else? Like he said, 'I play man basketball.' "

R-Dub Thought Balloon: "Shaq Tarzan, but Iverson and David Robinson ain't no Janes. Tri-MVP."

Who to listen to about hoop, Kenny Smith or Pete Vecsey?
R-Dub Thought Balloon: "Trick question, right?"

Road Dog Thought Balloon: "Barkley. He ain't protecting players' feelings, like Kenny does sometimes."

Pat Riley: The winner within, or Captain Queeg?
R-Dub Thought Balloon: "Queeg, by a landslide. Except in Florida."

Road Dog Thought Balloon: "Riley still in the game? Media-made genius. Believed his own hype."

Shaq-Kobe feud
Shaquille O'Neal
Shaq and the Lakers appear on target for a repeat run.
Road Dog Thought Balloon: "Ever since Shaq brought that 34-ounce Al Capone-autographed Louisville Slugger baseball bat into the Lakers' locker room at the Stapler -- what feud?"

R-Dub Thought Balloon: "Kobe just got married, so he's about to learn what a real feud is all about."

Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban
R-Dub Thought Balloon: "Wish he'd sit down and stop blocking the light."

Road Dog Thought Balloon: "Wish he owned the Knicks."

Who will win the 2001 NBA title?
Road Dog Thought Balloon: "I see Lakers."

R-Dub Thought Balloon: "I say San Antone. Which pretty much makes the Sixers a lock."

Ralph Wiley spent nine years at Sports Illustrated and wrote 28 cover stories on celebrity athletes. He is the author of several books, including "Best Seat in the House," "Born to Play: The Eric Davis Story," and "Serenity, A Boxing Memoir."



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