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Page 2's XFL Survivor:
Where reality bites

Page 2 staff

Poll Results

Vince McMahon and Dick Ebersol say the XFL is simply "reality TV."

Well, fellas, we've seen the XFL, and it's basically just football -- albeit strange football with strange rules, presented in a strange, circus-sideshow atmosphere.

But don't fret, guys. Page 2 is here to help. We've decided to combine the new football league with television's most popular reality-based show, "Survivor."

Every Tuesday on Page 2, we'll vote one team out of the eight-team XFL until we're left with a "champion" seven weeks from today. That way, you won't have to wait through the league's 10-week regular season and then the playoffs to determine the last team standing.

And starting next week, we'll let the readers of Page 2 make the arguments for why a certain team should either stay or go.

Here's our take on the league after the opening weekend:

N.Y./N.J. Hitmen (0-1)

Why they should go: If we want an inept, bumbling offense from New York that's not going to score any points, we'll take the Giants.

Why they should stay: It's always good to have a New York team in the league ... just for the "hate" factor.

Birmingham Bolts (0-1)

Why they should go: They could only find 35,321 people in Birmingham with nothing better to do Sunday.

Why they should stay: They're very elusive, at least the potty-mouthed players who were too quick for censors operating the stadium speakers.

Chicago Enforcers (0-1)

Why they should go: If Andy Kaufman were alive -- or not still faking his death -- he'd kick the snot out of half the Enforcers and that guy who did commentary during the Orlando-Chicago game.

Why they should stay: Running back John Avery had 250 all-purpose yards and two touchdowns Saturday vs. Orlando.

Los Angeles Xtreme (0-1)

Why they should go: NHL's North American All-Stars outscored the Xtreme 14-13.

Why they should stay: Just can't imagine Los Angeles without a pro football team.

Las Vegas Outlaws (1-0)

Why they should go: Poor grammar on back of running back Rod Smart's jersey, "He Hate Me." Hey, we're editors.

Why they should stay: Somehow kept NBC viewers enthralled -- until the network switched to Chicago vs. Orlando -- while shutting out Hitmen in boring game.

San Francisco Demons (1-0)

Why they should go: They beat L.A. but let their kicker, and the timekeeper, decide the game.

Why they should stay: They simply followed the script.

Memphis Maniax (1-0)

Why they should go: Follow the path set by the Mad Dogs, Showboats and Southmen.

Why they should stay: No losses in the storied history of the Maniax franchise. They held Birmingham to 65 yards rushing, but it could have been less if the Maniax hadn't have missed so many tackles.

Orlando Rage (1-0)

Why they should go: The Rage's Fred Flintstone-like logo might prevent the league from being taken seriously. And Hassan Shamsid-Deen dislocated his left shoulder before kickoff on the opening scramble.

Why they should stay: The Rage scored the first touchdown in XFL history when Kevin Swayne caught a 51-yard TD pass from Jeff Brohm on the first play from scrimmage. And, heck, we've even heard of Brohm.

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