Chat w/Page 2's DJ Gallo
Welcome to SportsNation! On Monday, Page 2 columnist DJ Gallo will stop by to chat.
Gallo is the founder and sole writer of the award-winning sports satire site SportsPickle.com. He is also a regular contributor to ESPN The Magazine and has written for The Onion. His first book -- "SportsPickle Presents: The View from the Upper Deck" -- is in stores now.
Send your questions now and join Gallo to chat Monday at noon ET!
DJ Gallo (12:02 PM)
Hello, dear ones. I want you to know that I am missing today's Penguins championship parade to chat with you. And if you know me at all, you know I don't miss parades for anything. Let's begin ...
DJ are you going to tell everyone to watch the victory parade at noon streaming live at the KDKA website?
DJ Gallo (12:03 PM)
I will not, Dave. You will.
Lakers Fan (LA)
Lakers Fan (LA)
Yo DJ, give me a hand flipping this car!
Lakers Fan (LA)
Hey DJ, you got a light?
DJ Gallo (12:05 PM)
This is all evidence that we can't rely on stereotypes. People say that West Virginia fans always light things on fire. They say that they're rednecks. When, in reality, it turns out the people of West Virginia are actually quite Hollywood.
Drew (Plainville, MA)
Did Sidney Crosby have the worst playoff bear of all time?
DJ Gallo (12:07 PM)
I wish that wasn't a typo. A tradition of playoff bears would make the NHL 10 times more manly.But I think we all know Crosby's is not the worst playoff beard ever, as that collection of hairs can't be called a beard.
Kris Draper (Detroit, MI)
I barely showed up in the playoffs this year. Think if I make stuff up about Crosby I'll get some attention from the media?
DJ Gallo (12:09 PM)
Kris, don't back down. You lost the Stanley Cup. In a Game 7. At home. It's right that the loser should dictate the pace of the post-game celebration. It's only polite.
13 years old boy (Puberty)
The Crosby stache is an inspiration for all of us
Johnny (Scranton, PA)
Do you think Marian Hossa is having second thoughts about his last career move?
DJ Gallo (12:10 PM)
Why? What did he do now? Sign with the Quebec Nordiques?
Jared (Indiana, PA)
So, are the Pirates going to win the World Series now?
DJ Gallo (12:11 PM)
They are four games out of first place in mid-June. Clearly anything is possible.
With the 1909 World Series and Superbowl XL, all three Pittsburgh sports franchises have won championships in Detroit. Do you have a more useless fact than that?
DJ Gallo (12:13 PM)
Jerome Bettis is from Detroit.Also, in future Pittsburgh-Detroit contests -- NHL, NFL and MLB -- I think they should play for the Jerome Bettis Cup. It would look like the Stanley Cup, only the basin would be filled with mayonnaise and nacho cheese dip.
D. Howard (Orlando)
Is my Stan Van Gundy impression still funny?
DJ Gallo (12:14 PM)
No. But I noticed at times this postseason that you do a pretty sweet Greg Oden impression.
DJ - Did you see the Hangover? Classic.
DJ Gallo (12:15 PM)
I have not. But I am waiting for my royalty check: http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=gallo/081222
Nick (Dayton, OH)
DJ - Old Spice or Stetson?
DJ Gallo (12:16 PM)
I can't believe you asked that question. At that very least, I think we all aspire to Stetson: http://www.mimifroufrou.com/scentedsalamander/i/Tom Brady Original Stetson Ad2.jpg
Manny Acta (Washington)
How much you want to bet that Adam Dunn hits more HR's then we get Wins this year?
DJ Gallo (12:17 PM)
Oooh. A gambling scandal by the Nationals manager. That's about the only other thing we need to make the Nationals more of a disaster.
Hello sir. So I thoroughly enjoy the Penguins and am fully basking in the glory of their Stanley Cup victory. However, less importantly, I am from Hershey where the Bears won their 10th Calder Cup...but they had to beat the Wilkes-Barre Scranton Pens do get there. So two questions: 1) why do I care? and 2) what do I do about this predicament?
DJ Gallo (12:20 PM)
I always find it odd when people are diehard fans of a minor league team. Don't you want to root for all the players to play so well that they advance up the system? All those that stay on the team, especially into the playoffs, isn't that just saying that they failed? That they weren't good enough? I should work in PR for a minor league sports team.
Scott (College Park)
Wait...I am in DC and this is this first time I have heard from a Nats fan. Quick someone take a picture so we have proof that they DO exist.
DJ Gallo (12:22 PM)
There were almost 100 fans at the end of their game last week, Scott. Six or seven dozen people have Zimmerman/Zimmermann fever.
Could we dispense with the "Phil Jackson is the greatest coach ever" nonesense...I mean really, he's brought in after the previous coach has had to deal with rebuilding teams...Heck, I'd say Larry Brown is better
DJ Gallo (12:24 PM)
Phil Jackson should really just follow Larry Brown everywhere he goes. Brown can coach for a season and a half, quit, and then Jackson can come in and finish the job. It would be like a package deal.
J.B. (Dunmore, PA)
When they announce attendance at a Nats game, they do it by first name.
Nick (dayton oh)
Gasol's playoff beard was worse than any NHl'rs. He almost broke my HD tuner
DJ Gallo (12:26 PM)
I don't know about that. Sidney Crosby was trying to grow a neck beard. It just wasn't visible. Maybe for the 2020 Cup Finals when he'll be a grown man of 32.
IS Kobe now the greatest player of all time?
DJ Gallo (12:28 PM)
Whoa there. Let's not get ahead of ourselves. I think we're still back at the never-ending Kobe vs. LeBron debate now. I want to not care about that debate for a few more years before I don't care about Kobe vs. Jordan.
M. Vick (ATL)
Is my brother ever going to play football again?
DJ Gallo (12:29 PM)
Is this Michael or Marcus? Or is it their little-known sister Maude? The mastermind of the family who lives in the shadows and has yet to be caught?
Dan (Harrisburg, PA)
As an ESPN.com writer, you are forced to make unfounded predictions that will rarely be correct but give fans something to work with until the real, and often disappointing outcome happens. First, I hope your Pirates predictions come true. But please make more about Pittsburgh teams. 1) who do the Pens gain and lose after this season? 2) how do the Steelers fare this season? 3) when does Pittsburgh gain a basketball franchise? Finally, the hardest 4) what is the Pirates' next move? You're move, sir
DJ Gallo (12:33 PM)
1) Hossa. And then they'll release him upon releasing they just eliminated themselves from Cup contention. 2) Well. 3) Never. Pittsburgh is not a football town. Pittsburgh getting an NBA team would be as unwise as ... off the top of my head ... Washington, D.C. getting a baseball team. 4) Trading anyone 28 and older who isn't nailed down. (While Adam LaRoche is older than 28, he is so slow and immobile I believe he is nailed down.)
Was trading for Adam Morrison the move that put the Lakers over the top?
DJ Gallo (12:34 PM)
Definitely. We all have seen how much that guy hates to lose. It clearly rubbed off on his teammates (via the mascara that he cried off).
bill (forty fort)
i'm a magic fan and skipped last night's game to save myself the shame and anger. i did statistics homework instead, and (not) surprisingly did not learn a thing. do you have any random statistics you want to share?
DJ Gallo (12:35 PM)
Dwight Howard was 1-for a possible 25 different post moves last night.
B. Laimbeer (Detroit)
Do you think I will ever get an NBA coaching job?
DJ Gallo (12:37 PM)
You already would have had one if David Stern would let the WNBA fold. He's messed up the career plans of you and every other WNBA coach.
Who cares about hockey?
DJ Gallo (12:38 PM)
You will soon, JD. Gary Bettman probably has a 10-year plan that will make New Orleans the most northern city with an NHL team.
If the Shaq to Cleveland deal goes down do you think there is any way we could throw Steve Kerr in the deal?
DJ Gallo (12:40 PM)
If it's Shaq for everyone on the Cavaliers but Lebron James, that's still a bad deal for Phoenix, right? I mean, we all saw the people who are not Lebron play in the conference finals. Is there one person that Phoenix would want out of the not-Lebrons?
Matt (Grand Rapids)
Michigan has the #1 and 3 worst cities for recession recovery on Yahoo.com. Michigan finally won something. When is the parade scheduled?
DJ Gallo (12:41 PM)
As soon as they can get a Fiat in there to lead the parade. All of the other cars won't start.
Jeremy (Algonquin, IL)
D.J. do you think there will be any hobos at the parade in pittsburgh today?
DJ Gallo (12:43 PM)
Doubtful. The Hobo Pride Day Parade is next weekend out West somewhere. They are all riding the rails right now to get there.
Is Sergio the favorite at Bethpage this week?
DJ Gallo (12:44 PM)
To win?! Umm. No. To be reduced to tears by heckling New Yorkers? Yes.
Did seeing the Brewers make the playoffs last year after so many years of failure themselves give you any hope that the Pirates might get a new owner and GM and talented players and break that .500 mark in the next 5/10 years? Or maybe, you know, just beat the Brewers for the first time in 17 games.
DJ Gallo (12:46 PM)
Pretty cocky for a fan of a team who is only four games ahead of the Pittsburgh Pirates in mid-June. And I think the reason the Pirates can't win in Milwaukee is that they're distracted on their visits by all of the culture and entertainment options found there.
Mike Guthrie (Winnipeg)
If Matt things Michigan is bad.......come visit Winnipeg
DJ Gallo (12:47 PM)
Please tell me you work for the Winnipeg Tourism Board. That would be an awesome tag line for the city.
Bob (St. Louis)
It must be interesting living in a city where 2 of the 3 major sports teams are doing well, but the third sucks. Oh, wait, we have the Rams. Never mind.
DJ Gallo (12:48 PM)
And Rush Limbaugh might be buying the Rams. I bet none of your players will ever miss a game with an injury again, as they will never feel pain again.
Zach (Dallas )
Could we get a champion not from a coastal state any time soon?
DJ Gallo (12:49 PM)
What happened to the Pacific Ocean?
How long do you think it will take for Kobe to stop walking around pumping his fist everywhere?
DJ Gallo (12:51 PM)
And when will he stop chewing on the front of his jersey. Now we know why his jersey sales stayed up even after the Colorado, uh ... "unpleasantness." Perhaps they are grape flavored.
Bob (St. Louis)
Wait a minute. Are Pittsburgh (Steelers), Philadelphia (Phillies), Chicago (WS), St Louis (Cardinals), Colorado (Avs) really in coastal states?
DJ Gallo (12:53 PM)
Yes. And St. Louis is the gateway to the west because they built a big arch there.
Matt (Grand Rapids)
How long until Dontrelle Willis throws a pitch so wild he hits Joe Buck's mom like Chuck Knoblauch?
DJ Gallo (12:54 PM)
Even better: How long before Dontrelle Willis throws a pitch so wild it hits Joe Buck? I would throw him a parade.
Last night, a friend suggested the Colorado incident could not have been illegal, since "what girl wouldn't want it from Kobe?" What would an appropriate heckle response to this comment have been?
DJ Gallo (12:56 PM)
I think I would just call the police and tell them to investigate possible/likely sexual assaults in your friend's background. Yikes. You need to stop hanging out with Jerramy Stevens.
Adam (New York)
Is it just me or does Pau Gason speak the best english on that lakers team?
DJ Gallo (12:57 PM)
If you can find it anywhere, listen to Marc-Andre Fleury speak after the Penguins won the Cup. I believe he speaks the same language as the Teletubbies.
Birds in baseball, birds in Tennis...what are the odds Brady's first pass smacks a seagull instead of Moss?
DJ Gallo (12:59 PM)
Pretty low. But what are the odds that Patriots fans then blame that bird for the team not going 19-0? I'm not much of a gambler -- does 10,000-percent count as a kind of odds?
Jon (St. Paul)
With its recent run of success, is there any way Pittsburgh could join Boston as one of the most hated sports cities?
DJ Gallo (1:02 PM)
No. Pittsburgh is wicked awesome. You all are just jealous haters!!!! (Sorry. I am just modeling the behavior I learned from watching.)
Who do you think smells worse after a game, Hedo Turkoglu or Pau Gasol?
DJ Gallo (1:03 PM)
Adam Morrison. His tears smell like failure.
Is it true all girls in Pittsburgh have moustaches?
DJ Gallo (1:04 PM)
No. But I once dated a girl with a moussestache. She was delicious. ZING!
DJ Gallo (1:06 PM)
Okay, Evgeni Malkin is about to "speak" at the Penguins parade. I love you all, but no way I'm missing that for a chat. Big taste!Thanks for your time. See you again soon.