There's something of an arms race among ballpark food vendors. No longer content with simple servings of hot dogs and beer, they're deploying ever-more-complex arrangements of calories in an attempt to win the stomachs of fans. The Rangers offered up a two-foot hot dog. The Diamondbacks countered with an 18-inch corn dog. Now, the White Sox are mashing together 12 scoops of ice cream in a monster sundae weighing in at a whopping three pounds. We're all for heaping quantities of tasty, unhealthy food to complement our baseball experience -- this is America, after all -- but we're worried about where all this is leading. If the Fenway Frank becomes self-aware and starts rampaging through Boston, don't say we didn't warn you.