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March 18, 2003

Outtakes: Charles Howell III

Dan Patrick burns worms with golfer Charles Howell III

Dan Patrick's interview with PGA golfer Charles Howell III appears in the March 17 edition of ESPN The Magazine

Charles Howell III
Charles Howell III prefers Tupac over Biggie.
DP: Your dad's a surgeon. Did you ever think about going into medicine?
CH: I can't stand the sight of blood, and I pass out at the sight of needles. Show me a needle, I hit the floor.
DP: So, final round of the Masters, Tiger brings out a needle
CH: Exactly, I'm done.
DP: Let's say he doesn't have a needle. Does Tiger intimidate you?
CH: No. I'm younger than he is, so I feel like I have nothing to lose.

DP: Is there a misconception about your hometown, Augusta, that you want to dispel?
CH: Lost inside the issue of women being admitted to Augusta National is that Augusta is a great town, and the members are good people.
DP: Does your wife golf?
CH: She understands golf but doesn't play at all. It's probably best.
DP: Yes, you'll stay together longer that way.

DP: You get a lot of Thurston Howell III jokes?
CH: You can not imagine. Lee Janzen calls my wife "Lovey."
DP: Your actual nickname sounds like a rapper's: CH3.
CH: Actually, now that you say it, it does.
DP: Do you like rap?
CH: At Oklahoma State I had a poster of Tupac and one of Augusta National. They were on opposite sides of the room.
DP: You think Tupac's dead?
CH: No. I have my theories. I was in Vegas for a tournament, and I had a cabbie take me to where Tupac was shot.
DP: What did you see?
CH: A gas station, a broken headlight and some asphalt.
DP: Not exactly a great memorial. I'm more Biggie than Tupac.
CH: Then I guess I have to hate you.

DP: You've got to daydream. What's the strangest Thought you've had standing over a putt?
CH: Jesper Parnevik asks me brain-teasers. Like, at last year's LA Open, I was trying to figure out: If I wrap a string around the world and stretch the string so it is three feet above the earth's surface, how much longer will it be? [Ed.'s note: 3 feet x2=18.84 feet.]

DP: You do look a little nerdy.
CH: I want to look nice, but different. But I'll never wear pink pants or purple plaid.
DP: You talk to your clubs, don't you?
CH: All the time. Some threats are involved. I throw my putter in the closet until it learns to act better.

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