Not everybody in and around tennis has been firing aces and winners. Here are March's Bottom 5 of the month.
1. Jennifer Capriati
An ex-boyfriend claims that Capriati slugged him at a wellness center after repeatedly stalking and harassing him. Come on, Jen, sweep this under the rug. Nobody wants to see another mug shot.
2. American men
Sam Querrey holds down the No. 20 spot, ensuring there's a U.S. man in the top 20, something that has happened every week since the inception of the ATP rankings. The streak is sure to last because the junior ranks are stocked with oh darn.
3. French Tennis Federation (FFT)
Expansion to the Roland Garros site, approved two years ago, was blocked by the Administrative Tribunal of Paris, which ruled local residents' complaints were not thoroughly considered and the fee payable by the FFT was set too low. Translation: Next time the application envelope needs to be padded with beaucoup euros.
4. Bernard Tomic
Tomic squandered five match points against Jo-Wilfried Tsonga in the quarters of Marseilles. Then he withdrew in the middle of the first set of his next match in Dubai, citing "a general illness." So much for the great Aussie tradition of playing hung over.
5. Dwight Howard
The Los Angeles Lakers' center told Novak Djokovic in a pregame locker room chat that he showed tennis promise as a youngster, but foolishly gave up any Grand Slam aspirations to miss free throws and become a locker room pariah.