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Write off Boston's Five Guys? Hold the bile, pass the patience, please

BOSTON -- A few thoughts about Boston’s Five Guys and their major league-worst 6.24 ERA as a starting rotation entering Monday’s matinee against the Baltimore Orioles:

  • There are 10 days left in the month. See, doesn’t that make you feel better?

  • The Kansas City Royals begin the day batting .313. Do you really think the Royals are going to hit over .300 all season? For that matter, do you think the Boston Red Sox will bat .239 all season? The Cardinals’ starters have a 1.92 ERA; how long do you think that will last?

  • There are only four teams in the American League with a winning record so far. One of them is the Red Sox. The others are the Orioles, Tigers and Royals. The Five Guys have not exactly ruined the season. At least not yet.

  • Departed ace Jon Lester has a 6.89 ERA, and he can’t execute a simple pickoff throw to first base. All of the Five Guys can, and Wade Miley (pictured) does it better than most anybody around. So, do we really have to dwell on Miley’s 10.57 ERA?

  • Madison Bumgarner, World Series legend last October, evidently has shortened his last name by two syllables this spring, if you want to put any stock in his 5.29 ERA to date. And if you’re so sure he’ll be better, why so sure that the Five Guys won’t be?

  • Has anyone mentioned that opposing hitters are batting just .119 against Joe Kelly in two starts this season, or is it only about the .319 they’re hitting off Clay Buchholz?

  • Doesn’t it count for something that Nelson Cruz, who has 8 home runs for the Mariners, still has hit two fewer home runs than the Five Guys have allowed (10) so far this season?

  • Top prospect Eduardo Rodriguez, the left-hander, hit 99 on the radar gun the other day in Pawtucket. See, doesn’t that make you feel better?

  • Do you suppose Mookie Betts, now batting .191, is feeling the tug on Superman’s cape? But I digress.

  • OK, it’s true, the Sox are the only team in baseball with four pitchers who have allowed seven runs or more in a start this season, and that Justin Masterson and Miley, who are pitching the next two games, were lit up for seven runs apiece in their last turn. But a year ago this week, Lester and Felix Doubront both were touched up for seven runs in a start, and no one wrote off the Sox last April -- although, given their last-place finish, maybe we should have.

  • The forecast is for rain today, maybe lots of it. Masterson might prove to be quite the mudder. Or Dave Mellor, the groundskeeper, might intercede and decree the Five Guys need a break.