Nigel Hayes and his Wisconsin teammates are fascinated by the NCAA stenographer

AP Photo/Charlie Neibergall

News conferences at the NCAA tournament are generally the definition of bland. The cliches are flying, every opponent is touted as the '96 Chicago Bulls, the term "student-athlete" is used at least twice a minute.

But every once in awhile, there are genuine flashes of human emotion and non-robotic answers. Case in point: the Wisconsin Badgers this weekend.

It all started when Wisconsin teammates Nigel Hayes, Frank Kaminsky and Sam Dekker discovered the until-now-anonymous NCAA stenographer after Friday night's postgame presser. They were genuinely fascinated by the process.

From AP writer Dave Skretta:

Then, with the interview room lights turned down and nearly deserted, the three came bouncing back through the curtains and posted up right behind the stenographer. Like a trio of schoolchildren, they started peppering the woman responsible for transcribing their quotes with questions about how stenography works. Then, they started punching the keys on her machine to see what they would produce.

“Whoa!” yelled Hayes, when his name popped up on the screen. “You got me!”

Even coach Bo Ryan ducked back through the curtains to get the low-down on the stenography trade before ushering his boys back to the locker room.

So with that context in mind, read Nigel Hayes' quotes from Saturday's press conference and try not to smile: