INDIANAPOLIS -- Social media and Andrew Luck are four words that don't go together.
The Indianapolis Colts quarterback has no interest in the social media world. The extent of his social media presence is a professional Facebook page and his Andrew Luck Book Club page on Instagram and Twitter.
It's nothing personal. Remember, he prefers a flip phone over a smartphone.
“Andrew has zero interest in being on Twitter,” Colts cornerback Darius Butler said. “If anything, I’d expect him to be somebody that invented Twitter.”
Luck would rather read a novel than be on Twitter. But that doesn’t mean there isn’t an Andrew Luck Twitter account -- an Andrew Luck parody account.
“I haven’t seen it,” the real Luck said this week. “Is it a good parody account?”
Yes, it is.
The account “Capt. Andrew Luck” has more than 43,000 followers. Actor Rob Lowe has mentioned him in tweets. Former NFL player Ryan Clark tweeted that people are “tripping” if they’re not following "Capt. Andrew Luck."
Dearest mother -— Capt. Andrew Luck (@CaptAndrewLuck) December 19, 2016
Silver and black painted ruffians donning skulls and bones await our unit. They shall not loot my neck beard.
Who runs the account?
The person wants to remain a mystery, because “the account has taken on a life of its own” and “it’s more fun the less people know.”
Dearest mother -— Capt. Andrew Luck (@CaptAndrewLuck) December 21, 2016
I hear tales these pirates are taught in infancy that victory is all that matters. We shall double our efforts.
"Capt. Andrew Luck’s" tweets, which started in December 2015, are written in the style of a Civil War soldier writing home to his mother. They often pertain to the Colts’ upcoming opponent.
“I’ve read some of his tweets, and I have to say some of them are pretty funny,” Colts punter Pat McAfee said. “He has some comedian in him. It’s crazy because his avatar pic is totally Andrew.”
Dearest mother -— Capt. Andrew Luck (@CaptAndrewLuck) December 22, 2016
Scouts say these Oak pirates' sniper, Sgt. Sebastian of Janikowski Island, has an accurate sight and swift shot.
I reached out to "Capt. Andrew Luck" via direct message on Twitter to find out more about the mystery man, and all he would say is that he’s a “West Coast journalist” who is a “sports nut” and wants to meet Andrew Luck the quarterback one day.
Dearest mother -— Capt. Andrew Luck (@CaptAndrewLuck) December 18, 2016
The Minnesota tundra is harsh. I write you now from inside a deer carcass to keep warm. I must rest for battle.
I requested a phone interview with "Capt. Andrew Luck." That request was declined to preserve his anonymity. He wanted the interview done through direct message.
Q: What made you come up with the account?
A: I came across some memes a few years back of pro athletes and celebrities reimagined in different time periods. Some of them were football players photoshopped onto Civil War portraits. There was just something about Luck as a solider writing home to his mother, informing her of his weekly “battles” that made me laugh, so I sent a few “letters” as "Capt. Luck" to friends each week when the Colts would play their teams, and one of them encouraged me to make an account.
Q: Where do you come up with the things you tweet, and how much does Luck's vast vocabulary come into play?
A: The posts just come to me. With each new opponent, I imagine the literal meaning of the team names, then put that into context of letters during the Civil War, with a doting son writing his worried mother about his trek. People seem to really enjoy the account, and I really like making them laugh.
Q: When did you first come up with the idea to have the account?
A: The idea came after I saw those memes. I just heard this voice in my head with music from Ken Burns’ amazing Civil War series playing, and I started cracking myself up. I was aware Luck wasn’t on Twitter.
Andrew Luck the quarterback isn’t on Twitter, but "Capt. Andrew Luck" should be lauded for the job he’s doing filling the void.