In Memoriam: Hopes for continuity, age seven months

This just in over the sportswire:

"The Lakers early Friday morning announced the passing of Hopes for Continuity Before the Playoffs, age seven months. The long-suffering goal, dealt an early hardship with a training camp injury to Pau Gasol and hindered by a variety of other maladies through the winter, was placed on life support earlier in April. Hopes for a late recovery were dashed before Thursday night's game against the Denver Nuggets when Kobe Bryant pulled himself from the lineup with swelling in his right knee, and later Phil Jackson indicated Bryant would likely miss this evening's game against the Minnesota Timberwolves. Meanwhile, Andrew Bynum announced he would not play until the first game of the playoffs. The events had a cascading and catastrophic effect ultimately proving fatal.

Hopes for Continuity is survived by The Search for the Magic Button, age four months, Undying Faith in Kobe, 14, and Intense Fan Concern, eight weeks. Private services will be held at the Lakers training facility in El Segundo, California. In lieu of flowers, the team asks fans pray for a favorable postseason schedule allowing for extra time on the practice court."