Some things are part of your daily sports betting rituals, like checking your parlay for the 10th time while you continually ask yourself why you didn't make it simple this weekend.
From the trash talking friend that chimed in too soon and has now killed your mojo to the unbelievable group text congratulations memes, we're here for the good and bad together.
Let's fill some buckets with tears of joy and sorrow.
Before we get any further... I'd like to remind you that today everybody wishes Mattress Mack was their grandfather.
How tweet it is 75 millionhttps://twitter.com/MattressMack/status/1589096563066171392?s=20&t=IHaIa7RoFVFC1u7VOHwPdg— Mattress Mack (@MattressMack) Nov. 6, 2022
But hey, winning suitcases full of cash is too easy right? We like to do things the hard way around here.
Look, miracle parlays aren't something you count on winning, but my heart breaks for this bettor, simply because we all knew Derrick Henry was going to be the entire game plan for the Titans.
This bettor was just a Derrick Henry First TD away from turning 37 cents into $10.6K... Pain 😭 (Via IG: jerran__ | @FDSportsbook)https://twitter.com/ActionNetworkHQ/status/1589437220997697537?s=20&t=IHaIa7RoFVFC1u7VOHwPdg— Action Network (@ActionNetworkHQ) Nov. 6, 2022
Adding insult to injury, Henry scored the second touchdown of the game, but we all know this is fully Ricky Bobby territory... if you're not first, you're last. There's no comfort here.
Derrick Henry takes the direct snap into the end zone for the TD to get the Titans (+14, +575 ML) on the board 😤https://twitter.com/BetMGM/status/1589439492447997953?s=20&t=IHaIa7RoFVFC1u7VOHwPdg— BetMGM (@BetMGM) Nov. 6, 2022
Now, for the actual game. The biggest upset of the day was the Jets (+410) but the Titans (+575) were out here trying to make sure anyone that bet on them felt like Mattress Mack for a night. The Chiefs' special teams were anything but special, and that helped send the game to overtime.
Chiefs backers watching Harrison Butker go to work tonight:https://twitter.com/CaesarsSports/status/1589459503371935744?s=20&t=IHaIa7RoFVFC1u7VOHwPdg— Caesars Sportsbook (@CaesarsSports) Nov. 6, 2022
In the end, Kansas City did enough to eek out a win and bettors dreaming of all you can eat Hattie B's hot chicken were left instead with chicken flavored ramen.
Apparently the Raiders getting a three score lead in any game is a good reason to live bet against them. After earlier this season blowing a 17-0 lead to Kansas City and a 20-0 lead to Arizona, the third time was the charm this season as they went from good all the way through the bad and straight to the ugly. We should have all seen it coming, but alas... we didn't.
81 percent of the money and 68 percent of the bets were screaming as the Jags missed a late field goal, opening the door for Derek Carr to lead Vegas to a game winning jackpot drive. As always, this Faiders team yet again broke my heart and your bank accounts.
The Raiders in the 2nd halfhttps://twitter.com/pointsbetusa/status/1589351396226527233?s=46&t=AgPOW_SujhKrsaGEc5NP3Q— PointsBetUSA (@PointsBetUSA) Nov. 6, 2022
1 bucket of tears. We should all know better and I am all cried out.
Oops I Did It Again
Man, I talked my talk this week on Spain & Fitz about the Jets getting smacked by the Bills. I'm obviously a moron and these people are obviously smart... And rich...
GREAT day for Jets bettorshttps://twitter.com/caesarssports/status/1589364316222160897?s=46&t=aAbUcg1AhquheHm-o1x6cw— Caesars Sportsbook (@CaesarsSports) Nov. 6, 2022
I obviously should have simply tried Nooner's approach. Note the date on this tweet, and how insanely right he was. Call me, man. I obviously need your coin flip approach.
Just did a coin flip to predict the Jets season and this is what happenedhttps://twitter.com/noonernation/status/1561400362921246725?s=46&t=a68P4xCjS1i4MKHDYBsABg— Nooner (@noonernation) Nov. 6, 2022
4 buckets of joyful tears. J-E-T-S oops oops oops.
ESPN had Joe Mixon projected at 18.2 points. Now, that's a fine number. But that's not 'avoid your fantasy opponent at all costs because you're gonna have to take that smoke' good.
When your opponent has Joe Mixon in fantasyhttps://twitter.com/actionnetworkhq/status/1589351009742385154?s=46&t=aAbUcg1AhquheHm-o1x6cw— Action Network (@ActionNetworkHQ) Nov. 6, 2022
The most overused betting meme on the internet was well placed today because Might Mixon was mint
JOE MIXON HAS SCORED 5 TDs TODAYhttps://twitter.com/actionnetworkhq/status/1589349344540606464?s=46&t=aAbUcg1AhquheHm-o1x6cw— Action Network (@ActionNetworkHQ) Nov. 6, 2022
55.1 is better than 18.2 and we all know some idiot in your fantasy league is talking like they saw it coming. All we can do is grin and take it.
4 buckets of why is it always someone else's running back tears
Dear. Lord. What. A. Game. For the second time this season we get a "Game of the Century" ending in an Alabama game, and amazingly... it's also the second time this season that the Tide have lost that kind of game. Alabama got the first touchdown in overtime but after matching that touchdown, LSU decided to go for the win instead of the chance to play more bonus football.
LSU WINS! BAMA's PLAYOFF HOPES ARE OVER!— Odds Shark (@OddsShark) November 6, 2022
LSU (+375 ML) ✅
OVER (57.5) ✅
The world needs a simulcast broadcast where the commentators on the 2 point conversion have opposite sides of the money line bet, just to capture the drama we were all feeling in the moment. 75 percent of the money bet at Caesar's on this game was on the Tigers, so even more of America was rooting against the Tide than usual. Finally, some of us know what it feels like to beat Alabama.
5 buckets because love or hate Alabama, you're crying tears right now.
Misery loves company? Heck, that's why this column even exists. So, let me just vent for all of us (myself included) that placed confident money on Tennessee to upset Georgia.
Feels like '98...— Action Network (@ActionNetworkHQ) November 5, 2022
Tennessee has the highest % of tickets AND handle of any team today at @BetMGM.
According to @ActionLabs_HQ data, Tennessee (+9) has 70% of the tickets at Georgia. pic.twitter.com/xiY1r95Vqk
Oops? I mean, I'm the idiot that confidently bet not only Tennessee but also the over (65.5). I absolutely should have listened to my good friend Elle Duncan before, so I dang sure have to listen to her talk her talk now.
This TN 💩 talking has been cute-I bet how old money watches new money whn they buy a Lambo all cash. Adorbs you're so excited but y'all ain't got no substance in your portfolio! 😉#GoDawgs— Elle Duncan (@elleduncanESPN) November 5, 2022
3 tears of very personal tears knowing I have to reload my account now. Bank Breaker.
I love a good comeback story. Until that good comeback story results in an epic bad beat that has the entire community shocked. Troy wore their Trojan horses costumes, hiding out for most of the game, until the last play of the 3rd quarter. Down 17-0 at that point and 17-7 to start the 4th, things went from strange to worse for the Ragin' Cajuns. With the game tied, Troy put themselves in position for the game-winning chip-shot field goal, which had Louisiana bettors feeling spicy at +3.5. A loss doesn't matter as long as they cover, right? Someone forgot to tell Kimani Vidal that.
Check it out this great view of Kimani Vidal's game-winning touchdown for Troy to beat Louisiana with 5 seconds left!! pic.twitter.com/bpz8Kk17oN— The Transfer Portal CFB (@TPortalCFB) November 6, 2022
Vidal lunges in for the amazing touchdown with five seconds left on the clock, and Troy bettors celebrate the win, the cover and the collective groan of gamblers everywhere.
3 buckets of "I can't believe I bet Troy @ Louisiana" tears.
What do most betters have in common with the members of the College Football Playoff Committee? Everyone was wrong about Clemson. The most heated commentary post initial CFP Rankings was centered on the committee's decision to put Clemson at No. 4. Apparently, not only was the committee wrong, but so were most of us.
70 percent of you just let the world know you haven't watched a Clemson game this season and took a hit about as massive as the hit the Tigers' playoff chances took.
2 buckets of should have known better tears.
College basketball season tips off this weekend, and let's be honest, SMU beating Houston 77-63 on the court, not to mention on the field, would have been surprising.
SMU and Houston combined for 140 points, more than three of the four SMU-Houston basketball games played in 2021 and 2022.— Dave Wilson (@dwil) November 6, 2022
Before kickoff, the total on this game was a whopping 66. The game hit 91 AT HALFTIME.
0 buckets -- because any and all tears were used as hydration during end zone celebrations.
Remember when today started and we thought we knew what to expect from Saturday's slate of games? Just remember that 6 teams started today with odds shorter than 40-1 to win the national championship at Caesars Sportsbook. 3 of those teams (Alabama, Tennesee and Clemson) lost. The good news is the NFL will be so much easier to predict, right? I need to go get us all more buckets.
The Philly Not So Special
Wednesday morning I fully expected the entire city of Philadelphia to be hungover. Coming off an absolute thrashing by the Astros in the first home Philly game in a World Series in over a decade, the swagger was real. Now, we all know that Philly fans are loyal to their core, so why bet on one of your home teams if you can make a bet on two? That's exactly what one sportsbook decided to let the City of Brotherly Love do.
.@DKSportsbook offered a bet last night on 76ers made 3-pointers combined with Phillies hits. The over/under was 19.5.— David Payne Purdum (@DavidPurdum) November 3, 2022
The 76ers made 19 3-pointers in a loss to the Wizards.
The Phillies had 0 hits in Game 4 of the World Series.
Yup. The 76ers did their part. Amazingly. The problem is that in the World Series< the Phillies have looked like Rocky. It was the triumphant Rocky screaming "Adrian!" on Tuesday night, but Wednesday the Astros went full Ivan Drago and kicked their butts. What's worse than losing a home game in the World Series? Nothing. But losing money on what looked like a sure bet at the same time is certainly the extra sugar on top that no one wanted.
5 buckets of tears spilling over and being mopped up with cheesesteak bread from Gino's.
The Philly Not So Special - the Sequel
I mean, I don't want to give away the ending here, but this isn't Empire Strikes Back where the sequel is better than the original. Nope, this is Ghostbusters 2 with pink slime and a bunch of people wondering why they wasted their money. The Eagles went into Thursday Night Football with the weight of the betting world on their shoulders.
Fear not, it's the Turrible Texans! It's the Eagles! Our wallets will all fly high! Nope. Heck, even the first half moneyline bettors (-430) couldn't get any love when the Eagles missed a field goal as the game went to the half tied at 14. But wait! Like a ShamWow infomercial it just got worse.
bad beat. had the eagles just kicked the extra point 😭 pic.twitter.com/pRIH8jNbay— Breezzy (@BreeezzyTurner) November 4, 2022
Breezy is feeling all of our pain. An offsides on a late Eagles touchdown incentivized Philly to go for two instead of taking the easy points, hitting the over and reminding us all that it wasn't just the Phillies that lost Thursday night.
4 buckets -- and I'm sorry I brought up the loss again, Philly fans.
Got any bad beats of your own? Let me know on Twitter @jasonfitz.