Two great moments in coaching interfered with our good time in the last couple of days. Then again, what else do we have to do?

First was the idea that Bob Stoops, who has just led his Oklahoma Sooners to the national championship of college football, would exercise an alleged loophole in his contract and take the freshly vacant Ohio State job.

	Marty Schottenheimer has 145 career coaching victories.

Second, there was Marty Schottenheimer III, and then, wackiest of all, Dick Vermeil III. But we'll get to all that in a moment.

Now, we know Stoops is an Ohio lad from the sole of his snow boots to the little fuzzy ball atop his woolen hat. And he may have that out in his OU deal to go to OSU.

But we also know this: He now owns the state of Oklahoma in ways that J.C. Watts can only dream. He is not only the man who ended the embarrassments of Howard Schnellenberger, Gary Gibbs and John Blake, but the first Oklahoma coach to win a national title without the team eventually going on probation. The man is, plainly speaking, a god north of the Red River.

By comparison, the Ohio State job features a mop and a pail. And that's allowing for the fact that the Ohio State job is a pretty big deal.

Thus, we'll assume Stoops will do the right thing within hours and say, "Not interested. And now, how about another spin around campus in the sedan chair, letting my subjects worship me?"

Or maybe he'll lose his mind and do what his predecessors Bud Wilkinson and Barry Switzer did -- retire and then try to come back in the NFL way too late.

So far, there is no evidence of that happening. I mean, he still is squeezing the champagne out of his shoes, right?

As for Schottenheimer's comeback in Washington, so soon after saying categorically he would never consider working for Danny Snyder, we can only say this:

ESPN doesn't pay enough.

Actually, it isn't that shocking to discover that Schottenheimer is still a coach at heart, and that Snyder would find a man of experience and confidence the right man to straighten out the Redskin mess. Besides, the ESPN Experience would invigorate anyone; Sean Salisbury on "Battlebots," for example.

Schottenheimer's hiring, though, leads perfectly into Vermeil's sudden interest in the Kansas City job that, one presumes, is about to become very, very open.

To be sure, it begs at least one question: Is Dick Vermeil as nuts as he seems?

Unlike Schottenheimer, who went out without knowing the warmth of a championship, Vermeil quit last year just as his finger was being sized for a Super Bowl ring. He has nothing to return to, unless it is a fascination with Missouri-based professional football that the rest of us just don't get.

It is, of course, so perfect that the Rams, Vermeil's old bosses, are infuriated by Vermeil's change of heart (let alone loss of mind). They are shaking their fists in outrage (while talking in stage whispers of compensation), because ... well, why, exactly? Are they planning to rehire him in the wake of their own barrel-roll from fun? Do they hate the Chiefs in ways we never fully realized? Are they just cranky after losing to the Saints?

But never mind that. We still haven't figured out why Vermeil is so eager to stick his face back in the ceiling fan, unless there's something about the sedentary life of broadcasting (he used to do subtitles for Brent Musburger, remember?) that makes a coach restless, even at the risk of his own legacy.

And maybe that's it. Maybe coaches are hyperkinetic by nature, always eager to have a U-Haul at the ready for when the itch to do, or be, something else strikes.

So Marty Schottenheimer is now coaching the Redskins. And Dick Vermeil wants to coach the Chiefs. And Bob Stoops?

Well, maybe he could angle for the Jets job. Then again, there's an empty chair at ESPN -- vertical and horizontal controls, thick neck and hinder rests, and all the studio banter a man can stand.

You know, in case it ever gets boring being the emperor of Oklahoma.

Ray Ratto of the San Francisco Chronicle is a frequent contributor to ESPN.com.